


True Desires

by SymphonicPanda94



Category: Vampire Knight
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, Boys' Love, Emotional Abuse, F/M, Family Secrets, Forced Bonding, Forced Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Physical Abuse, Rape, Rape Recovery, Vampires, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-26
Updated: 2013-01-08
Packaged: 2017-11-15 03:12:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/522508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SymphonicPanda94/pseuds/SymphonicPanda94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaname realizes his one true desire for Yuki. That she no longer sacrifices herself for the good of others and can be happy. He's convinced that he can't give her happiness so he plans to say goodbye but someone else has to go as well and not just for Yuki. KanaZero Slash with a dash of MPreg.<br/>You have been warned! [[ 9/23/15 Update: Will be REVAMPED. ]]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bruises and Bitemarks

**Author's Note:**

> Brought to you from fanfiction.net by the author and will be continued soon!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. I own none of the original Vampire Knight characters used in this fanfiction. I only own the kid(s) that will be featured in later chapters.
> 
> Warning: This story contains yaoi (boyxboy), MPreg, lemons, angst, one ex-human, one pureblood, and a happy ending if at all possible.
> 
> Non-bold text= Past
> 
> Bold Text= Present

_I can't seem to find enough strength to retain this side of me, stronger now than before and leaving me exhausted by the end of the day. With[each passing day](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7673584/1/True-Desires) it's been harder to restrain myself from attacking those near me. I wanted to protect Yuki, shield her from this ugly world yet I hurt her the most and when she falls back I don't catch her but Kiryu does. Kiryu . . . the thought of him feels me with utter disgust and an unexplainable longing, to sink my fangs into his soft flesh, to tame him. He should be grateful, thanking me and kissing the ground I walk on for my charitable act. I could have left him to destroy himself as he fell to Level E yet I allowed him to drink my blood, knowing full well the bond it would create. I took that risk but I did it to protect her._

_**Everything I did was for her is what I thought at first. Now I everything I do is for him.** _

"What are you thinking about?" My lover's voice reaches me in a soft whisper. He turns towards me ever so slightly. I don't move my chin from his shoulder, my hands over his swollen belly. Instead I take pleasure in the way his silver locks tickle my cheek and the feeling of life within him.

"Just thinking." I answer simply, planting a quick chaste kiss on his lips.

"About?" The ex-human pressed on, his lilac eyes locked on mine. A simple answer was never enough for him.

Taking in a small breath, I [speak](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7673584/1/True-Desires) again while massaging his bump. "I'm just thinking about the past year I've spent with you."

"Regrets?"

"More or less." This time I mumbled those words, which was, if I do say so myself, out of character. I had my regrets, yes I regretted a lot of things at the beginning but now they've dwindled into to pity whines. I wasn't acting like the pureblood I should have, let alone a good partner. He deserved better.

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"Please stay in line! No Pushing!" I heard Yuki's voice ring clear over the squeals and calls of the girls as they tried to grab the attention they so desperately craved for from the Night Class students as we passed by while ignoring the orders of Cross Academy's very own disciplinary members. It was an average routine which I had thought I was immune to, however today it only caused my head to ache. I turned my head slightly to look at the two of them trying to gain control over the crowd. My eyes rested upon the silver-headed ex-human for a while, to the point where I had not realized my feet stop in their tracks.

"She said  **get in line**." Zero's cold tone seemed to quiet the girls and ease my [pain](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7673584/1/True-Desires) for the moment. The girls now muttered about how mean or how scary he was towards them. The irony is almost amusing; they don't know the fragile boy veiled deep behind that stoic face he wears so well, along with the monster he tries so desperately to shut out of his entire being. However it's pointless and I must say I'm not surprised that this is the same boy who  **thought**  it would be easy to take his own life.

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

_I found him on the ground, curled up in a ball with one hand firmly latched onto to his gun and the other clutching at his throat, desperate to hold on to what little was left of his sanity. The pain was escalating by the second and soon enough he would have fallen to Level E. I had only watched as he tried to sit up, his groans echoing throughout the forest as a light shower began to fall quietly around us._

" _You're enjoying this, aren't you?" He hissed, acknowledging my presence. The fact that he was able to speak in his current condition was somewhat surprising. As a reward for his will power, I decided to reply to his question._

" _More or less." I answered, standing over him. It still brought me frustration that he could look me in the eye and bare his fangs with ease. Maybe he did not have as much control as I thought. I made a mental note in my mind to correct this flaw later on, teach him who was superior to whom._

_Frowning, he looked away. "Here to do the honors of killing me, huh? I no longer serve a purpose to protect Yuki now in your little game I presume."_

" _True, you no longer serve a purpose to_ _ **protect**_ _Yuki at this point." I admitted to him as I unbuttoned and removed my blazer before kneeling down. I did not want to stain my uniform with the blood of a pathetic ex-human. Taking his chin in between my fingers, I forced him to make eye contact with me. "That doesn't mean you are of no use to me."_

_Swiftly, he brought the gun up to his head, his eyes daring me to make a move, try to stop him. I felt the corners of my mouth curl up in a simple smile. This desperate attempt was almost amusing. "No need to be in such a rush to die, Kiryu-san." I whispered, placing a hand over his that held the gun. "I know you, I know you very well. You wouldn't shoot but . . . we both know very well_ _**I would** _ _. Pity though, you've given up on your wish to see Yuki smile from the bottom of her heart. Is that not what you told me? "_

" _Did you not agree with me?" The ex-human spat back, lilac eyes flickering to a vibrant of red from the anger surging through his body. I could not disagree for he spoke the truth but he did still have a role to play. Killing him now would not benefit me so I plan to use him in another way. However, the outcome still remained unclear. Only time will tell the way that it goes._

" _Then let me put us both out of our misery." I uttered and in one swift movement the gun had been discarded, thrown across the forest floor, and I had him pinned down. The impact caused him to gag and he squirmed underneath me immediately. For a brief second, I saw fear pass through his eyes and as much as I would have loved to torture him I couldn't take up the offer. I was in no position to at the moment. The hunger I had been suppressing for so long was becoming quite troublesome now that I was so close to satisfying. Just the sound of his heartbeat sent a tingle through my entire body, my fangs descending and suddenly bare as I leaned over into the nape of his neck._

" _W-what are you d-doing?" The ex-human stammered, struggling to free himself from beneath me as my tongue brushed against his soft efforts were futile. Brushing my lips over his tattoo, I penetrated his skin with my fangs and almost melted at the sweet taste of his blood, finally satisfying my hunger. I'll admit to being a bit ruthless with the biting and taking pleasure in his screams that followed afterwards, echoing all through the forest. Surprisingly, his blood didn't taste as bad as I thought it would, it was the complete opposite. It was sweet like honey, the taste of it sent me into ecstasy. I could have literally eaten him right then and there. Yet had I not retained my self-control, I wouldn't have felt the way he was reacting, wouldn't have felt the way he arched his back into me, our chest pressed together. I felt totally different, the connection between us so complex yet thrilling. My senses had poured into every inch of his body, I knew him in that instance. Something about this was arousing as well, the heat in my groin was increasing at a fast pace. God, if only I could just . . ._

_Suddenly, images filled my mind. I saw Shizuka with Zero but it didn't_ _**feel** _ _like Zero. No, it had to be someone else. Before I knew it, she had her hand around my neck, no Zero's neck. She whispered words I could not understand before plunging her fangs into the same soft pale skin I had only seconds ago. It felt as if I was being bitten by the very creatures he loathed. I felt his pain and desperation. I felt the anger he had towards us. Then everything went blank and only a small boy, curled up in fetal position and crying remained before being swallowed up by the darkest. I receded when his cries had died out and only heard the light pants that were passing through Zero's lips as he laid against the forest floor. Propping myself on top of him, I wiped away any blood that had escaped down my chin with my fingers before licking them clean, savoring the syrupy heat in my groin had dwindled but was still there. When my eyes rested over him once more I realized his eyes were dazed and half closed, as if he was sinking into unconsciousness. His tattoo had also caught my eye, its appearance changing fully for in the middle a crimson rose seemed to be growing, a small bud blossoming but remaining closed at the same time. The flower would bloom soon and when it did Zero Kiryuu would belong to me._

" _What am I doing? . . . I'm claiming you. You are now mine." I answered his question from ealier with a small laugh as I watched his head droop to the side. Lilac eyes soon disappeared under their lids as the hunter slipped into unconsciousness his breathing returning to a normal pace. I carried his likmp body back to his bedroom and placed him on the mattress gently. As I let his head settle against the soft people, I noticed the moon light from his window hitting his pale skin just right. I was captured by how serene he looked in that moment, almost like an angel. I could almost kiss him . . . But not now, not yet. While I looked out the window in my bed that night, my mind replayed those images over and over again._

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"Uh . . . Kaname-sama?" I blinked at the call of my name, coming back to reality and recognizing the voice immediately. Yuki was in front of me, her eyes full of concern. "A-are you all right? T-the class is waiting for you."

"Are they really now?" I said, glancing straight ahead to realize she spoke the truth. The other Night Class students had stopped a few feet away. With a smile, I continued. "I apologize for causing the guardians any trouble then. You're doing such a fine job keeping this school in order as it is."

Yuki's face flushed almost immediately at the compliment and she insisted it was no problem, waving her hands in front of her body. I could almost laugh but I was distracted. I glanced over to the silver-head glaring at me, our eyes connecting for a moment. I took note of the fact his tattoo had been covered up with some bandages. Still smiling, I announced, "Well, I'll be on my way then."

I could still feel his eyes piercing into my back as I passed them, joining the rest of the Night Class.

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"That will be all, Takuma. You may leave now." I dismissed Takuma to his quarters for the night, wanting to spend time alone tonight. Two people had remained in my mind throughout the day; I could not go one second without thinking about them. It was almost annoying to be honest and caused me to lose my train of thought sometimes. Now that I was alone, I could think of nothing better to do than think about my plans for a future with one of them, if possible.

_I have caused Yuki enough pain. It's time I let her make her own choices and travel down a path that would lead her to true happiness. She should not sacrifice herself for the good of others countless times. I understand now I have to let her go so that she can see that as well. It's time for me to say my goodbyes._

_It's time for both of us to say our goodbyes._ _**I was right at the time and I don't regret taking him as my partner even now. I only regret causing him pain, so much pain.** _

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"We've been through a lot, haven't we?" I ask him, lacing my fingers in his. Even I knew the answer to that question and he knew it too but of course he would never give me that answer. He was too good for me.

"I've been through worse."


	2. Visions and Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaname takes the iniatitive and begins to set his plan in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. I own none of the original Vampire Knight characters used in this fanfiction. I only own the kid(s) that will be featured in later chapters.
> 
> Warning: This story contains yaoi (boyxboy), MPreg, lemons, angst, one ex-human, one pureblood, and a happy ending if at all possible.
> 
> Non-bold text= Past
> 
> Bold Text= Present

~Zero's POV~

"Zero! . . . Zero!" Their calls, my parents calls, are nothing but a memory of that night, the night they died. I can see them now, stepping out onto the front steps of what used to be my home, aware of the danger ahead. They question the pureblood's presence, the she beast wrapping her claws around my neck as she replied. Her voice is drowned out by the sound of my heart beat, beating faster with each passing second. Why did have to happen to me? Why was I cursed?

"No!" I hear them cry as I feel fangs sink deep into my skin. It's just a memory, I tell myself but it doesn't help. It may be a memory but its a memory that's so clear, so vivid that I've pratically relived this night a thousand times. Why did all this happen to me? A scream resonates throughout my body as the memory shatters around me and I begin to descend into a dark abyss. I'm not only a vampire, I am lost.

"Then let me put us both out of our misery." A voice echoes in the darkness that surrounds. It strikes anger into my heart yet sounds so euphonious I almost feel as if no harm will come my way. I feel torn between two sides. Should I continue to shield myself from the rest of the word, continue to rely on only myself and no one else? Or open up with hope that I would be accepted for what I truly am, a monster in human form? A wretched vampire? Who could love such a beast?

"I'll claim you then." The voice speaks again but it falls on my ears as a light whisper. Crimson eyes pierce through the darkness then and I can hear a steady heart beat pounding through my eardrums. I do nothing, say nothing. I merely breathe in and out and blink every now and then as a face begins to form around those crimson eyes. Chocolate browns locks drip and cling to form the frame of his face. His all too familiar scent engulfs my nose and my fangs descend by instinct, hoping for a taste. Upon recognition, I begin to struggle, narrowing my eyes at the intruder, a growl escaping pass my lips. Something is wrong. He shouldn't be here yet he is. Why?

"There's no point in fighting it." The pureblood whispers to me as his hand caresses my cheek. I want to slap that filthy hand of his away but my body won't listen to me. Those blood stained lips of his twist into a devious smirk as his hand slithers down my cheek to my neck. Then I feel a pulse, vibrating under his touch as his finger tips brush over my tattoo. Why? "You should give in. Or would rather cause Yuki more pain?"

"Never!" I try to say but my voice fails me and then I wonder. Never to what? Never to giving in? Or never to stop causing Yuki pain? Both? Have I become a selfish bastard?

I watch Kaname press a finger to his lips, a light chuckle following afterwards as he bends down towards me. By instinct, I shut my eyes tight and turn away, praying this nightmare would end soon but then the soft laughs of children ringing in my ears entices me to open my eyes once more. Among the darkness, their bright silhouettes stood out as they danced around each other. Suddenly regaining control over my body, I stand on my own two feet.

The kids continue to play, laughter full of pure innocence filling the darkness as they run around each other in circles. I see only three children playing, their smiles visible but other facial features hidden. They look happy, enjoying each other's company but suddenly the laughs die out and I find them looking in my direction. There is long pause then and I begin to fret over whether I should say something but then one of them begins to shout words I cannot decipher while waving his hand as if to invite me over. Then I hear her, her laugh like wind chimes in a spring breeze, and I see the little girl appear from my side as she runs towards her peers. Something about this girl, her melodious laughter and short chocolate brown hair flowing behind her, reminded me of Yuki.

Yuki . . .

"Don't forget what you said. If you wish to see Yuki truly smile from the bottom of her heart, sacrifices must be made." I hear him throughout my body, his voice vibrating through every vein in my body. His words were almost like law, sacrifices must be made.

"Ah!" I jolt to an upright position with my eyes wide open, scanning my room. With light pants, a wave of relief washes over me as I realize the nightmare is over. I'm awake.

"Sacrifices . . ." I mutter to myself as I wipe away beads of sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand. "Like I need to make more of those."

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

**"Kaname." I call him, receiving a light hum in response that tells me I have his attention. I pause though because I feel the life settled within my abdomen kicking, letting me know he's still alive, still growing, still breathing and hoping I get to see him someday soon. I tell Kaname, "He's kicking again."**

**After placing a chaste kiss against the nape of my neck, Kaname replies, "Is he now? It's probably because he loves the sound of your voice. He's showing you how happy he is."**

**I would have laughed at that but then the little devil decided to give me a good hard ass kick. That wasn't nice. "He must like you more", I grunt.**

**"Hmm? Why would you say that?" Kaname questions in husky tone. His hands glide over my bump, the skin to skin contact causing me to flinch slightly. I covered his hands with my own.**

**"Are you still thinking? About those regrets?" I ask but after a long pause I receive no definite answer, only a sigh. "God, Kaname sometimes you think too much but . . . I'll be quite frank. I didn't expect us to last this long but like I said before, I've been through worst."**

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"Zero! You can't skip classes again!"  
Yuki complains. We were headed to class when I decided to drop the bomb that I wouldn't be attending today. My excuse? I had some busy to attend to. Was it good enough for her? Hell no. "I know you're going through some stuff but you really shouldn't skip classes! It's mystery why you're passing but still!"

"It's not like I do anything productive in class." I protest, "I'm sleeping majority of the time."

"Still!" Yuki pouts, seeing that her defense was failing. With her eyes downcast, she speaks softly, "It's just that . . . Without you, classes aren't the way they used to be. Zero . . . You're not planning on transferring to the Night Class, are you?"

Sometimes I wish I could and I should but when Yuki asks me to stay and looks at me with that sincere, determined look she usually wears to get her way, I give in to her to make her happy. I just want her to be happy, I want her to smile despite the ugliness in this world. It kills me that I hurt her more than ever by taking her blood but she still smiles at me and continues to sacrifice herself for me. How can someone be so selfless, so pure, so good?

"No I'm not transferring." I answer her, giving her false hope because I couldn't stand to see her with that face, to look so sad. No, she can't be sad, she should be happy, she deserves to be happy.

Yuki looks up at me, a hopeful expression on her face yet doubt still in her eyes. Then her eyes flickered to my neck. "Ah! Zero, what happened to your neck? Are you-

"You should get to class." I cut her off, not wanting to get into that subject of matter. I then decide to take the initiative and gently push a free strand of chocolate brown behind her ear. I can't help but smile when I see her cheeks flush and Yuki look down immediately. Before leaving, I pat her head and say goodbye. "I'll see you later, Yuki."

While school is in session, I'm free to do what ever I please which means I can pay a certain pureblood a visit.

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"Oh! Kiryu-san! To what do we owe this unexpected visit?" Takuma yawns, the fact that he had just woke up clearly written in his sleep drunken face. He stands aside, welcoming me into the Moon Dormitory.

Getting straight to the point, I ask, "Is Kuran in?"

Takuma stretches his back a bit before answering me. "Kaname-sama is currently sleeping in his quarters and quite frankly I would recommend you not disturb him."

"All I wanted to know was if he was present, not if he was available." I state bluntly as I proceed to head up the stairs. Suddenly alert, Takuma stumbles as he tried to keep up with me, advising me constantly to reconsider and come at a later time. He seems quite nervous but I disregard his warnings as we now travel down the corridor. To much of my dismay but not surprising, the pureblood's faithful friends had risen from their slumber and were now blocking my path.

"Takuma, don't waste your breath. A filthy level E like him clearly doesn't have enough sense to know where he stands." Ruka sneered, her once pale brown eyes now a vibrant red from anger, "It's about time you be taught a lesson."

As she advanced forward, a few others following her lead, I pull out Bloody Rose. With a smile on my face, I told her, "You know that smart mouth of yours is really starting to tick me off. If it's a fight you want, its a fight you'll get."

Takuma then used himself as a barrier, standing between me and the nobles with his arms held horizon as he whispered harshly, "Please let's not cause a ruckus you guys! Kaname-sama will hear-

A sudden gunshot frightens the vampires as it skims pass Takuma and Ruka, barely missing them by a centimeter and makes a hole in the wall. I was losing my patience early but now my mood had totally gone sour. I could care less about difference in class or other crap. I was ready to shot them down if I needed to. Its too bad, I also had her. "Think he heard that?" I ask in monotone, looking upon a few frightened pair of eyes mixed with a few angry ones. There's no doubt in my mind, Kaname will come.

"Are you out of your mind? You can't just go around shooting off bullets at us!" Aidou screeched.

"Abusing your power now as a guardian? That's pathetic." Ruka says, her tone oozing with disgust.

I retorted, "You never learn, do you? Then I promise you this next shot won't miss."

"Kiryu-san! Please!" Takuma pleads, advising the nobles to get a hold of themselves but they are much to stubborn and hot-headed to heed his words. All began to summon their powers. I could feel the atmosphere change, tension raising as a cold chill surrounded me then vines slithered up my legs, wrapping around them tightly. I remained motionless with a straight face, my gun aimed at Ruka. We were about to attack when a voice suddenly interrupted us.

"What is the meaning of all this?" Only silence was met as an answer to the stern question as Kaname appeared down the corridor. The nobles were quick to avoid eye contact with the pureblood, more embarrassed by the fact that they had been caught making a disturbance once again. Kaname wore a straight face as he walked up to the group. "Retire to your dorms." said the pureblood and so the nobles did without hesitation, few looking back at back me with a glare before disappearing.

"I suggest you put that weapon away as well Kiryu." Kaname mentioned as he turned to head back to his room.

"Not just yet." I think to myself, letting the gun fall to my side, a finger left curled around the trigger just in case. I stayed close behind Kaname as he led the way, knowing why I was here I'm sure. However, neither one of us spoke to the other the whole way there.

Suddenly I felt my tattoo begin to throb with an aching pain, like it was alive. Biting my tongue so as not to make any sounds, I rub over the area gently with my hand as images from that night clouded my mind. He had done something, I just couldn't figure what exactly. Yes he had bitten me, that much I know. So why does he appear in my dreams? Why does my tattoo begin to pulsate like this when I'm near him? But his scent overall was unbearable, causing my fangs to descend and my mouth salivate a bit as it filled my nasal passages with each breath I took. Maybe it's just an after effect, but it's going on longer than I would have expected.

The last thing I remember before entering his room was his answer to my question, the words imprinted in my brain.

"What am I doing? I'm claiming you."  
.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.


	3. A Promise Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the past: Zero doesn't want anything to do with the pureblood but does he have a choice in this after being marked?
> 
> In the present: Ichiru and Zero discuss names and afterwards Zero has a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. I own none of the original Vampire Knight characters used in this fanfiction. I only own the kid(s) that will be featured in later chapters.
> 
> Warning: This story contains yaoi (boyxboy), MPreg, lemons, angst, one ex-human, one pureblood, and a happy ending if at all possible.
> 
> Non-bold text= Past
> 
> Bold Text= Present

**~Zero's POV~**

As the metallic taste of blood filled my mouth, I hold my ground and look the angered pureblood in the eye. My gun is aimed at his heart, his hand gripping my throat as he has me held against a wall. Turns out things would be harder than I expected but then again, they always are. Tightening my grip on Bloody Rose, I ask in a low growl, "Is the little blood sucker losing his temper?"

"Oh believe me, my temper is very well under control," the pureblood spoke lowly, "but seeing as you caused a disturbance in the dormitory I'm afraid I can't let you go without punishment."

I spat angrily, "You're not responsible for my actions!"

Kaname loosened his grip on my neck only to tear away the gauze pads that hid my tattoo. While twisting a strand of silver between his fingers, he then traced over the pattern of the rose bud imprint with the tips of his fingers as he muttered, "I am as of now."

I was about to argue further, slap his hand away and curse his very existance but his touch caused a sudden eruption of sensations throughout my body that rendered me speechless. Every hair stood on it's end, goose bumps covered my skin and a chill ran down my spine all at once. I didn't know why this was happening, why my body was suddenly acting this way. I could see a small smile forming on the pureblood lips as he watched me the same time he leaned towards my neck, his breath warm and tickling my skin while his tongue massaged the area in small circle patterns that sent a wave of excitement throughout my body, he whispered, taunting,"Does my touch  **excite** you?"

At that question, I bite my tongue, willing my body to move but my efforts were in vain. He didn't deserve an answer, he knew very well what he was doing, I didn't. I questioned whether he was using his powers to have this control over me but he merely chuckled.

"You smell . . . delicious," he spoke slowly as if he was mesmerized and I could feel his fangs tickle the hairs on my neck as they descended. I became anxious then and with all the strength I could muster I desperately tried to free myself.  _Come on! Move!_

"I'll be gentle," purred the pureblood as his fangs broke skin. I winced at the contact, letting out a pained gasp before feeling the warmth of blood drizzle down my neck. At that moment he dug deeper. I could feel him, feel him surge through every vein in my body, the sound of him feeding pounding in my ears along with his heart beat to match. I felt my emotions split in two, a battle between ecstasy and rage. My body is yearning for him, enjoying this feeling like it was right, beggin me to give in but my mind is fighting against him. Then voices fill my head and I'm reminded of my past as bits of the memories play over in the back of my head. I hear my name called countless times in a medley of voices. This is absolute torture . . . and only infuriates me more.

Time seems to slow down as my blood is consumed him. My vision begins to haze and I feel light headed as the room seems to sway. After all this I still feel the fire growing in me, yearning to break the connection but my body feels alien to me. Closing my eyes tightly, I mentally yell to myself to stay in control.  _Come on! Move! MOVE!_

A flinch in my finger reveals that I'm finally making some progress; I just have to push harder which proves to be quite difficult as my strength is depleting from lack of blood.  _I won't let him control me! I won't give in! I won't! MOVE!_  
  
In a flash, my hand is at his throat, pushing him away as my other snaps back before connecting with his cheek. Slumping against the wall, I hear Kaname stumble backwards and then slam his hand against his desk while I brush over the re-opened wounds in my neck and breath heavily. The voices in my head subside immediately but I still feel dizzy, mentally and physically exhausted.

Then there's a distant chuckle amid the silence. "You never cease to amaze Zero," Kaname says, "However, your punishment isn't over quite yet."

Looking up with what little strength I have, I see him standing near the desk, a slight bruise forming over his cheek from the punch and his eyes ablaze as he licked at the dried blood caked over his lips and stains on his fingers. He walked back over to where I sat, losing consciousness fast. I tried to stay alert, to ward off another attack but I wasn't able to, my head slumping forward and eyelids feeling heavy as they closed. I felt cold slender fingers lift my head up by my chin then. I had blacked out then but his voice still reached."Zero Kiryu," the pureblood mused. I didn't have to see him but I could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke my name. However, I did feel something afterwards, something wet but warm that tasted like poison on my lips. Then a promise that followed suit. "I'm going to break you if you don't obey me."

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

**"Zero." Ichiru called to me quietly. We were lying down on his head, mainly because I was very tried and wanted to take a nap but . . .**

**"Hmm," I hummed softly as a response.**

**"Did you figure out a name for him?" He asked for the thousandth time this week. It was getting quite annoying and I hated having to come up with substitute names for him as suggestions. I honestly had no clue what I was going to name the kid, I figured some name would miraculously come to me once he was born.**

**I adjusted my position to get comfortable once again, letting out a sigh as I tried to come up with another name. "Daisuke?"**

**Ichiru snorted, "Ehh . . . Too plain."**

**I groaned, annoyed with this little game. I tried again. "Hikaru?"**

**"Come on! Think outside the box, why don't you?" Ichiru laughed, though I didn't find it funny at all. "How about . . . Satoru?"**

**"Okay, I'm going to sleep." I concluded.**

**I felt Ichiru bounce off the bed then. With a defeated sigh, he muttered, "Fine."**

**He left then, closing the door quietly so not to disturb me. I cursed him mentally for bringing up the name subject because now I couldn't stop thinking about it** _**. What name would I give him? A cute name? A simple, common name? Should I name him after someone important to me? A meaningful name? Well, all names are meaningful in their own way but the name you give to a child will have an impact on them as an individual.** _ **With a heavy sigh, I realize this requires to much brain power which I'm currently lacking. With that said, I fall asleep fast, the name situation haunting my mind.** _**A name . . . A name . . .** _

**Then I find myself standing there, at the intersection where three paths meet. I figure I must choose a path to walk down but I'm hesitant, unaware of where either path may led me. Then the light jingle of bells echo through my head and I bring my attention to the young boy that has appeared by my side. His words fall mute on my ears but he's pulling at my arm while pointing a finger to the road off on the far left. I feel obligated to follow him for some reason and I do. Taking his hand in mine, we walk down the path together.**

**It feels like we've been walking for ages when nothing appears but the boy's company keeps me at ease. I wonder why I can't see his face clearly but in the midst of my pondering, a tiny ball of white gracefully falls pass the child's face. At first I assume I imagined it, but then another fell and another. All around us it appears snow is falling, a blanket of snow covering the ground and trail of footprints left behind us.**

_**Snow . . . reminds of her.**_ ****  
  
.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"Zero?"

 _Bap._  
  
"Zero, wake up!"

_Bap._

Suddenly regaining some consciousness, I could sense someone's touch against my cheek. The skin to skin contact continued all while a girl called my name softly. With a small groan, I pulled my eyelids back every slowly and as my vision came into focus I was immediately met with a pair of redwood eyes. They pulled back a little so that her whole face came into view, a small smile on her pink lips as she spoke.

"Hey sleepyhead! You know you could've stayed at school if you were just going to sleep the day away!" complained Yuki, her lips forming in a tight pout. With a serious look, she said, "Don't forget about guard duty tonight! You can't skip out on me again! You got that?"

Still in a sort of daze, I mumbled a weak 'yea' as I directed my attention over to a nearby window. The sun was already setting. How long was I out? I wondered as I scanned my surroundings. How did I get back in my room?

My thoughts were interrupted by the touch of fingertips lightly brushing over the nape of my neck, tracing the pattern of the rose bud over my tattoo. "Is this new Zero? I've never seen this before! When did you get this, last week?", asked Yuki, her eyes full of curiousity as she examined the new found design.

She gasped when suddenly I grabbed her hand, squeezing lightly. "Don't touch it . . . please."


	4. Agitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the past: Kaname has an interesting conversation with the caged princess, Shizuka, on the matter of tainting the pureblood line.
> 
> In the present: Houston, we have a problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. I own none of the original Vampire Knight characters used in this fanfiction. I only own the kid(s) that will be featured in later chapters.
> 
> Warning: This story contains yaoi (boyxboy), MPreg, lemons, angst, one ex-human, one pureblood, and a happy ending if at all possible.
> 
> Non-bold text= Past
> 
> Bold Text= Present

**~*Kaname's POV*~**

"How soon should I have it ready by, Kaname-sama?" Takuma was standing nearby the door of my room, awaiting orders but I was preoccupied, gazing out of the window, looking over the Academy once again. It had become a habit in the past two weeks but it will be harder to forget when I am no longer surrounded by it every day, a part of it. All good things must come to an end . . .  _Is that right?_  
  
Taking a sip of blood from my glass, I sigh heavily as I tell Takuma, "Have it ready by the end of the month." I have less than 3 weeks then, that's all I have. Yet there's still so much work to be done.

 _All this work is becoming quite troublesome_ , I think to myself as I feel another headache brewing in the back of my mind, the pain pulsating slowly. Pressing my fingertips to my temple, I stroll over to my desk and lean up against the edge. Sometimes I forget why I do what I choose to do out of my own free will. I would try to talk myself out of it sometimes, then I remember what's already done is done. I can't go back on my word now.  _Yuki would never go back on hers._  
  
"By the way, Kaname-sama," Takuma mentioned in a low tone, "My father and the council members would like to have a word with you about your  **mate**."

I knew it would only be a matter of time before the Council would catch on but I didn't expect it to be so soon. Well I guess there have been some rats snooping around Cross Academy a lot lately.  _No matter._ "I'm afraid the councilmen will have to wait until everything is settled between us first," I tell Takuma before mentioning, "There's no need for you to be so formal with me."

Takuma chuckled lightly, "I know Kaname-sama." He then left the room and all was silent once again. The pain in my head had subsided for the moment but then I wanted to do nothing more than sleep the rest of the day away. Placing my glass on the nightstand as I walked by, I settled down on my mattress, covering my body with the silky satin sheets as I rested my head against the pillow. I figured the sunlight would keep me awake so I pulled the covers over my head, surrounding myself in darkness. As I drift off I think to myself, what a troublesome world we live in . . .

_I never asked for this. I only wanted to die, to cease living in such an ugly world. I had come so close to fulfilling my wish, death was closing in fast. However my slumber had come to an end when I was revived._

A baby's cry echoed amid the darkness, in my mind memories of that day flash in pieces. There's a light then a baby slaughtered above me, its life cut too short. A hand was connected to the now dead baby, two eyes were looking over at me, a red one and a blue one. I'm not only angered by the infant sacrifice but dreadfully thirsty. I need blood. A mouth moves, forming words that I cannot decipher but his eyes say it all. Rido Kuran, one of my own descendants, has killed Kaname Kuran, son of Juri and Haruka Kuran, in order to revive me. Why? Why did he force me back into this world? Even though his intentions were clear at first, there are somethings that still remain unclear to me, missing pieces of a bigger picture.

"So you're going to use him then? Come now Kaname, you could certainly do better." Shizuka chuckles as she appears amid the abyss, plucking cherry blossoms above her while having herself propped up on the branch of the tree. I am leaning up against its trunk, gazing up at a fellow pureblood that was now a part of me. "I can guarantee you, trying to break him will just be a waste of time. The most you'll get off of it is a good laugh at such a determined mind. You might as well end his suffering rather than prolong it."

"I have ways to make him submit to me. You are one of them, a part of his past that he desperately wants to get rid of or rather forget." I mention to her, "His brother also plays a part in this. How is he doing by the way?"

She didn't answer letting the petals from her hand fall, floating to the ground gracefully. Instead, she asked, "Do you really plan to mate with a vampire hunter of all people? The council will not stand for it; your child will be seen as an  **abomination**. Though you may be an ancient pureblood heed my word, tainting the pureblood line is taboo in the vampire society and will cost you greatly. Are you prepared to be shunned by your own kind?"

I do not deny Shizuka's words for she speaks the truth but I have taken all that she has said into consideration already. Looking at her, I say with a small smile, "I may be shunned, even isolated but unlike  _you_ I won't be alone."

Shizuka returned the smile half-heartedly as she spoke. "Very well. Take care of Zero for me then and be grateful."

"Grateful for what," I pondered aloud.

"That your spawn will be blessed with decent looks," Shizuka replied, a sly smirk spreading on her lips, "Would you not agree Kaname? Lilac eyes like his, full of anger and determination, are not very common in this world."

With a laugh, I mumble, "Hmm, is that right?" Shizuka disappears then, slipping back into my subconscious. There isn't a sound now, all is quiet as the cherry blossom petals drop one by one and I reflect on the conversation. Being a pureblood, carrying the weight of the vampire society's expectations and continuing the pureblood line while playing by their rules, it's a lot of work and pressure placed on one person. Well, now I'll play by my rules and do as I see fit, even if that means tainting the pureblood line with the blood of a vampire hunter. Until I get what I want, I will not stop.

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

**"Zero!" I called to him as I entered the kitchen quickly, the scent of his blood hitting my nose upon entrance. I was heading upstairs to the bedroom when I heard the clank of a knife hitting the counter and then crashing to floor. I found Zero crouching over the sink, his thumb pressed against the tips of his lip and other hand braced against the counter. I crossed the room to stand by his side, analyzing the scene. The knife on the floor had small drops of blood dripping from the blade.**

**"K-Kaname I . . ." Zero tried to form words, his eyes narrowing and lips twisting as if he were in pain. Swiftly grabbing hold of my hand, he guided my palm over the side of his swollen abdomen. In between shallows breaths, he half-spoke, half-moan, "I-I think . . . It broke."**

**I looked down to confirm Zero's guess and sure enough I found a wet stain growing rapidly in between his legs. The world seemed to come to a sudden halt. Taking a deep breath, I calmly said, "But he isn't due for another two weeks."**

**"Well I cut myself by accident and now," Zero tried explaining but a shot of pain caused him to emit a low moan. He breathed, "God, it wants out!"**

**The baby was coming . . . The baby was coming? No that can't be right but Zero says he is. It's much too early but . . . I'm going to be a father, I think to myself, not knowing whether I felt excited or very nervous. I never thought this moment would come so soon but above all else I realized I had to remain calm.**

**"Kaname, I really need you right now," Zero was practically begging as he hunched over, a hand clutching over his abdomen and face losing color. I winced at the dulling pain from my hand going numb from Zero's tight grip. He was right though.**

**"I've got you," I state clearly before guiding him out of the kitchen. I call his other half who comes flying down the stairs and upon first glance at Zero's pale face he gets to work, fast. Within minutes, Zero is sitting in a small black limo with Ichiru seated across from him, murmuring words of comfort as I entered the driver's side, revved up the car and sped down the road.**

_**Remain calm and stay focused Kaname.** _

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

The sound of someone knocking lightly on my door woke me from my slumber. Peeking from underneath the comforters of my bed, the shine of the full moon greeted me with its eerie glow. Night fall, I thought, my eyelids still heavy with sleep. I sat up slowly, stretching my tried body a bit before saying, "Come in."

The oak doors opened slowly, the hinges creaking ever so slightly as the doors were pushed forward to reveal the Night Class vice-president behind it. "Good evening Kaname-sama. I hope you enjoyed your rest."

"I don't mean to be frank Takuma but . . ." I trailed off knowing the blond could finish the rest. I had just woke up so it was safe to say I was a bit cranky at the moment.

Nodding his head in understanding he continued. "On behalf of the students involved, I wanted to confirm the matter of tomorrow's affair with you."

"Ah yes." I mused, remembering my plans. Though Hanabusa and the others were as loyal as one could be I knew they questioned my motives at times. In this case, they merely wanted assurance in the task I'd given to them. "They want the rules gone over again? Is that it?"

"Yes Kaname-sama."

"Very well."


	5. Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the past: Zero is sensing something weird already occurring not just inside him but around him as well and he doesn't like it one bit. 
> 
> In the present: Zero goes into labor but he's not feeling to great about this special moment in life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. I own none of the original Vampire Knight characters used in this fanfiction. I only own the kid(s) that will be featured in later chapters.
> 
> Warning: This story contains yaoi (boyxboy), MPreg, lemons, angst, one ex-human, one pureblood, and a happy ending if at all possible.
> 
> Non-bold text= Past
> 
> Bold Text= Present

**~*Zero's POV*~**

_Yuki . . ._  She left abruptly after I grabbed her, brushing the action off as if it was normal for me. I felt disgusted and anger with myself then. I despise what I am and what I'm becoming slowly as the days go by. I loathe that damned pureblood for what he's done to me, tainting my blood with his poison. Without a second thought I throw my uniform on and quickly walk out the door. The cool night air greets me when I step outside. So far it's quiet, the only sound being the rustling of leaves against the light breeze. As the full moon peeks from behind dark clouds in the night sky, I feel I need to distract myself yet I don't want to do anything tonight. Everything is just such a mess right now; I think it would be better if I just dropped dead.  _If only he had let me pull the trigger . . ._

Suddenly I find myself at the courtyard, the pool glistening with moonlight as flower petals floated along the surface of the water. I had let my feet gather a mind of their own and bring me here by instinct, where I usually came to clear my head. However, tonight I was unable to do this. As I crouched down by the edge of the pool, I looked at my reflection against the water.  _What do I see?_

_An abomination, something that shouldn't exist, a beast in human form, a monster, the list goes on. What does Yuki see in me? Why does she stick her neck out for me countless times? I never ask for help if I can't help myself. If I can't control it I shouldn't be allowed to live. A Level E would not last long in this world. Yet Yuki is always there, defending me and insisting I will never fall so long as I drink her blood . . . because it is the only thing keeping me sane._

_Damn it all!_

I growl as I splash at my reflection with a quick furious swipe.  _Yuki . . ._ I think to myself.

_Ba-bump._

_Ba-bump._

The burning sensation in my throat has returned. I'm hungry again but I'm craving for blood that will taste as sweet as honey nectar yet rich in iron, a rare taste indeed. I've tasted this blood before. I feel tongue brush over my lips in sensual way as I remember that moment vividly. It was truly divine and quenched my thirst with just one drop, I want more. Feeling a shiver down my spine I try to dismiss such shameful thoughts from my mind but I'm shaking with anticipation. God I could almost feel his presence nearby, almost taste him.

My mouth watered at the thought, my fangs descending for a bite as the fire in my throat grew stronger. Above all else, I am appalled by the heat I feel growing in my stomach and traveling downward. It feels like my heart has dropped straight into my genitals. I can't give in to these animalistic feelings, I tell myself as I struggle to stand and try to gain control over myself. Why is this part of me yearning, lusting for him so badly? I've never felt this way before but I want him so badly. . .

"No!" I roared as I banged a fist against the pavement, the sudden burst of pain causing all the other sensations to disappear immediately. I've never felt that way before, why now? Why can't I get him out of my head? Why did I want him only mere seconds ago? This couldn't be happening . . .

The tattoo, I think scrambling back to the edge of the pool. I stretch my neck out to get a good view of it. The rose bud didn't seem to undergo any change, it appeared the same but underneath my tattoo seemed very much different. The color had darkened immensely and I could make out a chain pattern forming around the daggers and my neck. I realize all of this is connected. I wondered then, will the rose bud bloom? If so, what happens to me then?

The sound of a branch snapping off in one direction triggered my hunter instincts. With Bloody Rose at the ready, I listen intently for any other signs of life nearby, sniffing the air to catch a scent. There was a vampire nearby but it wasn't who I had hoped for because I would have enjoyed sinking a bullet through his heart. I shouted, "Reveal yourself!"

Surprisingly a silhouette appeared from within the greenery, a slim slender body type which told me it was a girl. Stepping into the moonlight, I was met with relaxed pale violet eyes, her hair the same color. "Good evening Kiryuu."

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

**The pain was slowly decreasing as I lost complete feeling from the abdomen down to my toes. I relaxed a bit, grateful for a break. I wish they could work faster, the sooner this is over with the better. Still I feel a bit uneasy with the whole process.**

**"Kaname-sama, we are ready to perform the operation." I heard the women's voice and before I knew it I saw a blue elastic band be pulled and a mask be placed over my nose and mouth. I looked over to the pureblood by my side wondering how he could be so calm while I was scared to death. I just had a nauseating feeling in the pit of stomach that something would go wrong but maybe I was over exaggerating, maybe not. Nevertheless, seeing Kaname made me want to put on brave face and suck it up because I made the choice to go through with this and all that came with it. How pathetic I would be to give up now, to cry about too much pain. This wasn't pain, this wasn't true pain.**

**"Zero," Kaname called me, his silky voice taking on a gentle, endearing tone that I never thought he was capable of producing, "The doctor is going to have you placed in a different room for surgery. They going to perform a Cesarean section on you, okay? He'll be here in a few hours."**

**Words failed me then but I nodded my head in understanding. So I was going to be cut open? Fantastic . . . Another scar to add onto my body. A price I have to pay for this spawn, but god he'll be here in only a few more hours. I feel some joy at the news. How will he look? Like me? Like Kaname? Will he have lavender eyes or crimson? Will I even be a good parent to him? Am I ready for any of this? On top of everything else, now I'm nervous.**

**I look up at the fluorescent lights above me then as they began to pass by. They were moving me into the other room. Kaname followed closely by my side, his hold on my hand never wavering as the doctors rolled the bed down the halls. Before I realized it, we had reached our destination and I felt Kaname's hand slip away like a ghost as I was placed in the room. Time seemed to move slowly then. I took a deep breath, trying to clear my head as they placed a barrier up so I could not see what was taking place on the other side. Closing my eyes, I focused all my attention on one thing.**

_**Ba-bump.** _

_**Ba-bump.** _

_**Ba-bump.** _

**His heart beats strong.**

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"Mr. Kiryu!"

The shout startled me for a second, Opening my eyes lazily and lifting my head up, I found the teacher's eyes narrowed at me. I had fell asleep in class again . . .

"Would you mind repeating to the class what I just said?" Mr. Sato tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for a response that would never come, not in his lifetime anyway. I merely sat there cushioning my chin with my arms as I let my head fall forward. A bell shattered the silence and then everyone was out. I followed suit, stepping out of the door way I was met by an angry brunette with her friend, Sayori. I stood there, towering over and waiting for her to say something. She just glared at me with her arms folded across her chest, clearly expecting me to explain myself for whatever she was fuming about. Tired of this game, I walked around them and then she shouted, "Hey you! You've got some explaining to do!"

I heard her rushed footsteps behind before she was at my side, pouting as usual. "Where were you last night? You know we had a duty to watch over the Night Class and you didn't even show up at our usual spot to check in with me," complained Yuki.

"I was busy."

"Busy with what? Sleeping?"

I frowned. "No."

Her voice dropped to a low whisper then as she said, "Are you hungry lately Zero? Is that why?"

I became angry then, not happy with her assumption at all. I spoke in a serious tone then, my anger slipping through. "I wish you would stop assuming that, that when I don't show up and do something it's because I'm hungry. Do you even see as a human anymore? Or a monster that need to be fed and watched constantly?"

"No," Yuki denied before replying softly, "I'm just worried about you, Zero. If there's anything I can do . . . "

For some reason, that didn't make me feel any less angry.  _She's worried? She's always worried about me! Why does she care so god damn much?Why is she so . . ._ _ **selfless**_ _?_ I remembered the conversation from last night then.

_I got straight to the point Bloody Rose aimed at her heart. "Why are you watching me?"_

" _It was a task given to me by Kaname-sama," Seiren revealed._

_Hearing his name out of her mouth made me tense. I hissed, "Why? How does what I do require any concern of his? What right does he have to surveillance me?"_

" _A pureblood may do as he wishes; we do not question his motives. I cannot tell you anymore than what I already have. I too wonder like you why Kaname has developed a sudden interest in you, but seeing that you bear the mark of the rose I'm beginning to understand. Nevertheless, Kaname-sama has merely given me an order that I am to carry out. That is all. I do wish to warn you though. It would be better for you if you stopped relying on that girl and distance yourself from her for the time being," Seiren explained before fusing back in with the shadows of the trees._

_She was gone. Letting my gun fall to my side, I slumped against the wall behind me contemplating over Seiren's words. Now I get what she meant._

Coming to a stop in the middle of the hall, I looked back at Yuki, wearing a blank expression on my face for what I was about to do. " **Stop it** ," I said.

"Stop what?' Yuki asked, taking aback by my cold demeanor all of a sudden.

"Don't play dumb with me Yuki," I hissed enunciating ever word that came out of my mouth slowly, "After what's happened between us, you know try to put on smile and act like everything is all right but it's not Yuki. Wake up to reality! What do you see when you look at me? You're afraid of me, aren't you? Why give me your blood then? Why nuture a  **beast**  like me? Yuki, why do you have to be so  **stupid** sometimes? It's infuriating and I can't take it anymore. I am perfectly capable of  **caring for myself**. Don't offer yourself to me anymore, don't worry about me, don't even come looking for me. I don't need you or your blood, do you understand?  **I. Don't. Need. You.** "

Then there was silence between us. I expected her to respond back, to say something but she never did. Her eyes fell to the floor, her lips pressed into a thin line while I continued to stare her down. I never knew I could be that harsh with her and I could only think of one word to describe her at that moment.  _Pathetic._ Turning my back on her, I walked away, never looking back to see her still standing there like a ghost. While I headed towards the Day class dorms I started to have doubts.

_Did I really do the_ _**right thing** _ _or have I just made a_ _**big mistake** _ _?_

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Guard duty couldn't have been more torturous today. Yuki avoided eye contact with me at all times and avoided talking to me yet when Headmaster Cross came around she would perk up and smile like nothing was going on between us. I had to remind myself time and time again that this is what I asked for specifically. Now I'm thinking maybe I should have just sucked it up but another side of me is thinking things would be better off for us this way. I'm no longer relying on her and I don't have to listen to her day in day out about how much she's worried about me when my well-being should be none of her concern. It's hard to say how I feel.  _Confused? Most likely. Maybe guard duty will give me some time alone to clear my head, that's what I'm hoping for._

Several hours later, I'm walking around the back of the Night Class building, scanning for anything amiss. It's been awfully quiet tonight and I find that extremely odd. Night class students aren't usually this well behaved, neither are the Day Class fangirls. I get a gut feeling something is wrong and I realize I'm right when I notice small crystal fragments forming in front me.  _One._

Quickly I dodge multiple shards of ice as they cut through the air towards me. I set off a couple of shots in the direction they came from, pausing to listen for any signs. Out of the corner of my eye I see a glowing red orange light and I fall back quickly as a ball of fire is shot, missing my face by mere centimeters.  _Two._

I have no time to return a bullet as I sense danger from behind and throw myself against a wall to dodge a streak of lightning.  _Three._  A whip of blood comes slashing down from above and I sprint down the wall just as it makes contact with the ground, pieces of stone flying upon impact.  _Four._  As I come to the end of the wall, I peak around the corner before coming out and standing in the middle of the walkway with Bloody Rose at eye level. I pause when I see a familiar brunette standing a few good feet from me, her head downcast so that her bangs covered her eyes.  _Yuki? No, it can't be. Five._

_Not realizing this earlier, that was my mistake._

Suddenly I felt my whole body contort in pain from an electric shot to my back and fire burning my upper right thigh. I couldn't move my feet because I realized then they were coated in ice. Within seconds, I was on my knees restrained by blood whips around my wrists and neck laid out for all to see, like a captured animal. They appeared then, forming a circle around me, the gleam of their vampire eyes practically smiling with malice over me as they closed in.  _Hanabusa, Akatsuki, Rima, Senrin and Ruka,_ I thought with a low growl emitting between gritted teeth.

"Remember your orders," warned a voice off in the distance. A hand then appeared in front of my face from behind and forced my head back so that I was looking straight up at the moon. I don't know how to explain what happened but it felt like energy was surging through my body into said hand before my vision blacked out and my mind shut down.

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

"You've done well. I will be able to take things from here." The sound of a silky voice reached my subconscious. There was no mistaking who it belonged to but there were questions as to why it sounded so close by.  _Where was I?_  Hearing the sound of a door open and close made me flinch for what was about to come. I forced my eyes open then. I wasn't so much surprised to find myself in his quarters, laid out on his couch. I winced in pain, letting out a low hiss as I sat up, still feeling the burn on my upper right thigh from mere moments ago. I looked up to find the pureblood across the room, looking out his window in what I considered to be his nightwear, his pale skin bathed in the moonlight. Taking a sip of blood from his wine glass, he glanced at me with that blank expression he usually wore. "Remember what I said the other night?"


	6. Truth Is

~*Zero's POV*~

_Remember what I said the other night?_

"I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about," I retorted, wincing in pain as I forced myself to stand. Akatsuki had got me good, I'll give him that. Sauntering over towards the oak doors to exit, I remarked deadpan, "Quite frankly I wouldn't give a rat's ass either."

 _Nothing was right here._ My presence requested in his room, an ambush to restrain me, the mark of the rose on my neck and the way the pureblood looked at me now, his glowing blood-red eyes captivating yet leaking with conflicting emotions, none of it should be happening. In the midst of my walk I paused, propping myself up against a bookshelf as another wave of pain from the burn came over me. I cursed between gritted teeth.  _I should have healed by now._  My eyes never left the pureblood, in case he tried to pull something. Instead I watched him greedily guzzle down the rest of his blood left in the wineglass, a trail left running down the side of his bottom lip. Licking at the side of his mouth, he held the wineglass at eye level, scrutinizing it carefully as he twirled it between slender fingers. In the blink of an eye, he glanced at me and the wineglass had shattered against the bookshelf, mere centimeters from my face. By then my hunter reflexes had kicked in, Bloody Rose out and my finger pressed against the trigger. However, a shard had dug right into my cheek, the scent of my blood filling the room now as it began to ooze out. "I wouldn't try to leave if I were you," suggested the pureblood.

Those words spilling out of his mouth was that of a threat rather than suggestion. But I'll be damned if I ever choose to actually listen to a pureblood, especially Kaname. Continuing to inch closer to the doors, I spat blankly, "I don't take orders from you."

I was almost there, my fingertips brushing over the brass handle behind me as I used Bloody Rose to keep the pureblood at bay. He hadn't made a move, his eyes piercing through the dim lighting, following my every move. I had grasped the handle tightly now, time seeming to slow down as I turned it clockwise.  _Click._

"You don't get it, do you?" Kaname asked, sauntering around his desk and heading towards me. My first instinct was to shoot but something was holding me back, my fingers , no my body in its entirety suddenly felt too heavy and no matter how much I willed it to move it refused to obey me this time. "You cannot defy me Zero. It is within vampire nature to succumb to those above you," he explained, amusement in his eyes, "This is why there are purebloods, the purest form of vampires and the most powerful but sadly, we are also the most damned."

 _Show no fear to him_ , I thought to myself as he drew closer to me still. Standing directly in front of me, he leaned in a bit, his fingers brushing up the side of my hand that held Bloody Rose. He murmured mostly to himself while twiddling with my fingers, "Why must you make everything so difficult by trying to go against your very own nature? Do you hate your own kind that much?"

"You are not my kind," I spat at him, the thud of Bloody Rose swinging into my left knee following. Meanwhile he let his lips ghost along the palm of my hand, his warm breath tickling my skin. I had to forcefully push the thought that it felt ecstatic to the back of my mind yet it became quite troublesome when he began to nip and bit lightly at my finger tips, the feeling almost gentle _. Is it possible that a power greedy pureblood like him was even capable of producing such gentleness?_  
  
"Don't try so hard to be something you are not," Kaname said, his silky voice nearly soothing to my mind that I knew I had let my guard down for a split second. With a growl, Kaname pressed into my wrist suddenly and I could hear a sickening crack as he continued to apply pressure. "You know the few purebloods alive hold many power," he began while gliding his tongue against my index finger, "Would you like me to demonstrate one of many I hold? I could make you my  **puppet.**  With just a flick of my wrist I could make you do my bidding. That's all it takes. Or I can burrow into your very mind, learn everything about you from the first breath you took to your love for Yuki and every fantasy you've ever had. I could destroy you from the inside out. You won't every dare to bare your fangs at me again. You know it would truly be so easy  **to break** you."

With that last comment Kaname paused, tightening his grip until he heard another snap and a sinister smile curled spread over his lips. He had crushed my wrist and I could do nothing but watch my hand go limp, rendered useless from his demonstration. I forcefully bit back my tongue, the anguish I felt staggering.  _Yes it hurt but I didn't care._ I never let my emotionless facade waver under his influence. With my voice monotonous, I asked, "So why don't you just break me? If it's so easy why don't you grow some balls and just be rid of me?"

Surprisingly, he chuckled. Off in the distance there was a crack and then the shatter of glass, shards resonating off the floor. "Do watch what you say around me. I'm not fully in control of my powers," warned the pureblood. Letting my hand slip through his fingers, he ran a cold finger up the nape of my neck and over my tattoo. "The mark of the rose, it means many things."

"What are you droning on about?"

"I have plans for you, Zero Kiryu. The mark of the rose proves that," Kaname explained as he ran a hand up my side, lust beaming in his eyes. "It's tainted red to portray a horrible history and feelings of injustice but a unique rare beauty. Like an angel stripped of its wings by a devil and forced to live on earth yet given a body able to withstand anything and a spirit to match. Oh yes, I have plans for you."

Those words, the way he spoke as if mesmerized, sent chills down my spine as he continued to trace over ever curve of my body, his lips dangerously close to mine. I heard the faint sound of claws descending, the sharp edges embedding themselves into flesh, digging deeper through muscle.  _It hurt, damn right it hurt but I wasn't about to let the leech know that._  They retracted as soon as they had come, the holes left behind clotting with blood to fill in the negative space and staining my uniform. "That's all you do, plan and manipulate others into following you. You have nothing better to do with your life, do you?"

"Well are you one to talk? You do nothing better with your life than I do," Kaname pointed out, "Let's remember who had a gun to their  **head** a few nights ago."

 _That's all he needed to say to tick me off._  The next few seconds seemed to go by slowly as his hand gripped around my neck tightly, crushing my windpipe while he clawed at the burn on my leg. He smirked like the devil his was, lifting his fingers that were stained with my blood to his lips. Sliding the digits into the cavern that was his mouth he sucked on them one by one. Meanwhile he had me dangling off the ground by a mere foot above him, throwing my body against the wooden floor before trying to pin me beneath him, my shoulder bruising from the impact. However, he must have lost some control because I had control over my hands for a split second.  _An opening!_  Quickly I had grabbed Bloody Rose and shot a bullet perfectly into his shoulder, finding his control and the pain he had caused on my body evaporate.  _An illusion,_  I came to realize. He was caught off guard and I took this opportunity, quickly flipping our bodies over so that I was on top, subduing him beneath me.

**_Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump._ **

_You can't fight what you are._

**_Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump._ **

I don't know what happened exactly but one second I heard it, the humming of his heart beat, and the next I had my fangs sinking through pureblood's flesh, the taste overriding my body, savoring the sugary syrup flavor.  _Was it wrong of me to think it felt so good to have this kind of dominance over him? For once he was below me, literally, and I was in control._

Or so I thought . . .

As I continued to guzzle down the sweet nectar that was his, my mind went blank and I felt as though I disconnected from reality. I appeared suddenly amid the darkness that must have been within the pureblood's mind. I was a bit surprised; an "ingenious" pureblood such as he I figured would always have something on his mind.  _Maybe I was in his subconscious then._  Taking a step forward, I heard a familiar crunching sound beneath the sole of my foot. Glancing down, I was met with the sight of pure white snow and soon I noticed the delicate white flakes begin to fall around me, groups of trees forming in various places. I feel a sense of familiarity with the scene before me yet I know I've never been here before.  _But why—_

"Ai-YEEEEE!" A blood-curdling scream disrupts my train of thought and I quickly recognize the voice, spinning around and dashing towards the source, towards her. I find her there with another vampire, preparing to sink his fangs into her skin, the fear clear in her eyes. Before I can take a shoot at the leech with Bloody Rose, someone else appears, a shadow behind him and within a second a quick hand strikes and blood is splattered against the snow as the vampire has his brain's dashed out by the other. As the body drops, her savior is revealed and there's no mistaking those piercing garnet-colored eyes, chocolate brown hair and soft voice as he asked her, "Are you okay?"

"Yuki . . .," I mumbled aloud. The sound of her name brought her attention onto me, reddish-brown eyes looking but not recognizing as she stood and nuzzled in next to him, scared. On the other hand Kaname's eyes narrowed and before I could say anything else the world before me blurred and vanished. I then found myself standing on solid glass, my reflection clear beneath me. Turning around, I met the pureblood once more but he wasn't a kid like before yet he still portrayed a youthful look in his current appearance. "You . . .," I growled, the sight of him infuriating, "What game are you playing now? Where am I?"

Met with silence as an answer I was left baffled that my words had not reached him. He just continued to stare back. Though his eyes were on me they weren't looking at me, more like they were looking through me at something else. He hadn't registered my presence at all. I took a step to the side to test my theory and indeed the pureblood stood there motionless, not taking any notice in me.

"You might as well end his suffering rather than prolong it." Suddenly a streak of pain shot through the back of my head. The searing pain brought me down on all fours and I gripped at my head with my eyes shut tight and teeth grinding against each other. I longed for it all to stop, my pained grunts echoing off the walls of his subconscious. It felt like someone had literally beat a brick against the side of my head, a dull throbbing underneath all the agony. Opening my eyes slowly, I froze at the sight of the caged princess that had single handedly ruined my life her reflection appearing against the glass floor. With a twisted smile on her thin lips, she leaned over me.

"Why not show him who you really are Kaname?" Shizuka whispered against my ear as she reached out her hand over my shoulder and let a thin finger tap against the glass floor gently. A crack formed, growing in size until chunks of the floor began to fall, shattering completely underneath me. I tried to claw at her, a vicious growl slipping through, but I had reacted too late. Her wicked laugh followed as I plunged into empty space. I noticed pieces of glass that were falling around me began to flash and a variety of faces appeared. Some I recognized and others I could not. At some point I came to understand that these were moments in Kaname's life being played back to me, memory shards.

_"There was a large scale climate change more than ten thousand years ago. It was at that moment that the founders of our race, who had until then existed scattered on their own all over the world, finally came to realize that there were more people like them."_

The time of the ancestors, I knew what was being explained but what did this have to do with Kaname?  _It took place over ten thousand years ago_. I contemplated over the connection before I noticed I was no longer falling and the shards around had crash against some surface only to turn and paint a whole new setting, a village. Villagers were bustling about, enjoying the huge harvest they had obtained recently. Men and sons were pushing crates of fresh vegetables and wheat along the dirt road while the women chatted with their peers and daughters merrily played in the grass and ran around trees, enjoying what appeared to be a glorious day. Looking around I took in the sight before me.  _This is over ten thousand years ago . . .?_

_" . . . In that case, I'll have your name be Kaname, spoken and spelled like the name of my hometown."_

The feminine voice hummed through my ears but I could not recognize nor could I find its source. Instead I spotted a very familiar brunet entering a somewhat modern-looking building.  _It couldn't be_ , I thought but I still allowed my feet to follow after him. Upon entering the house, there he stood by a woman's bedside. As I inched closer to get a better look, I took notice that he had a needle prick the woman's skin and red liquid fill up the small tube fast, the woman never waking from her slumber. All the while he remained silent as the scene suddenly changed drastically. He now stood before an angry mob of people with pitchforks and torches, shouting accusations and questioning their "lord". For that moment, he said nothing then he turned his back on the humans and walked away. It couldn't be possible for a pureblood such as himself to live that long yet here he was ten thousand years ago, he hadn't changed, everything about him looked the same expect that he looks younger now then ten thousand years ago. As he walked through me like a ghost I shuddered, confusion still clouding my mind as I tried to piece together the puzzling matter before me.  _This was the real Kaname? This is what she wanted me to see? But I don't . . . understand._

I then glanced back at the pureblood, finding him settled beneath an oak tree on the outskirts of the city, it branches abnormally askew. "Kaname . . . "

It was that same female's voice from earlier, her mellifluous tone sounding far much closer this time. I looked behind me to find her atop a white horse, her face hidden by the hood she wore. Though this was my first time meeting her I felt as if I knew her already but how could I? How is it that she seemed so familiar to me?

"It's only natural that the humans would fear powerful beings so different from them," she said referring to Kaname all the while as I picked through my brain to figure out who she was. Offering her hand to the pureblood who had suddenly appeared behind me, she continued, "Our people must live away from them. It's for their own good as well. There's a place with people like us. Come on."

As a conclusion to this memory it shattered and as I find myself falling again I look at shard reflecting Kaname standing still by himself, a lonely figure that almost reminds of . . . myself.  _Could I actually be relating to him? No, it's just the overwhelming effects of these memories, I feel faint._

"I'm worried, you know?" Another memory of that hooded woman begins to play as she discusses a troubling topic that can be heard through the uncertainty in her voice. "There's people who have been creating more and more 'servants' for fun. Even though we don't need to turn that many to live . . . And it's not like the turned servants survive off of thin air either. I have a terribly bad feeling about this."

As more memories play on, I began to grasp the relationship that developed between those two, the hooded woman and Kaname. She gave him blood when he fell faint from bloodlust and he lent her his strength without a second thought. She praised him for never raising a hand against the very humans that cast him away and he supported her in every way while worrying about her well-being. Every time he saw her I felt his worry for her, how he wanted to care for, how important she was to him. The connection they shared resembled that of a mother and child, nurturing and trustworthy but he also cared greatly for her, no he loved her. Everything he felt for her I could feel yet nothing could compare to this strong sense of separation, guilt and loneliness he has suffered through for an eternity. I began to wonder,  _where is she now, Kaname?_ As if to answer my question, a haze formed surrounding me, my feet finding common ground again. In the midst of it all, shadows began to appear moving forward, the only sound being the shuffle of their feet. Faces began to appear and as I looked into their dazed eyes, realization hit me.  _These are humans turned vampires,_  I thought and watched them saunter on like zombies, never acknowledging my being there. "Kaname! Leave these people for now."

She appeared riding upon her white horse. Stretching a hand out to me, she urged, "Come, Kaname. We have more pressing matters."

I blinked for a second.  _Was she referring to me?_ Confusion was probably written all over my face now but that didn't stop her from yanking my arm and hauling me onto the horse, her patience wearing thin. "Don't just stand there! Please get a hold of yourself. I'm counting on you, okay?"

As the horse proceeded to gallop along in the opposite direction of the ex-humans, the hooded woman gave me a brief explanation of the situation. "There's more and more of them. Yes, it's a pity for this to be happening right when the humans were finally managing to repopulate a little after all the losses they suffered due to the climate change. As of now, more than half of our race has chosen the ideology of turning the entire human population of the world into members of our race, human by human. No, actually they're turning mankind into submissive slaves. We must stop them. I realize I'm pushing such a nasty duty on your shoulders and for that I apologize. I'm sorry, Kaname."

"I'm fine. What about you? You're looking sort of pale today," Kaname stated as he appeared on the ground next to us and like a ghost he let the back of his fingers run softly down the hooded woman's cheek. He treats Yuki the same way he treated her, the difference being because of this woman he was able to develop these feelings of love and regret. As she bent over to him with a genuine smile I watched as their lips met in an effortless chaste kiss. Pulling away, she whispered, "You're a good boy Kaname. You'll work well, even when I'm not around you."

He disappeared then along with the other ex-humans and she dismounted her horse. "I hid from my people that I was coming here," she began and for a second I thought she was addressing me. While speaking she slit her wrist and held it out to some invisible being that only she could see. "Although the method I have for you to gain that power is one by which I cannot guarantee your survival. Your body may react to my blood as poison and thus be fatal but some of you may absorb this poison and survive. Those of you that do survive will forge a race and be known as vampire hunters so if you wish to seek this power drink my blood at your own risk."

It all made sense then. She was the pureblood who had sacrificed herself to bring balance to the world over a thousand years ago. The ancestor woman who gave her blood to us, who gave us power. She tore out her own heart and threw it into a vat of molten metal in a furnace, thus creating the anti-vampire weapons we have today.  _That's why she seemed so familiar—AGH!_ I grunt as my head snaps back and it feels as if I'm being pulled out of this memory. Opening my eyes I find myself back in the pureblood's study, a hand firmly clutching a clump of my hair as I was turned over onto my back. Kaname came into view, a blank expression upon his face as supported himself against my chest, the nape of his neck caked in blood from previous feeding. "You weren't suppose to see any of that but I guess even the best of plans don't go accordingly. Nevertheless—

I interrupted him as I came to terms with all the information I had just obtained. "Just who the hell are you?"

"Even you could answer that yourself after what you just saw," he sneered before grabbing my throat, squeezing tightly while digging a set of claws into my side but this time it wasn't an illusion, it was real, very real. I was on the verge of blacking out from the pain and not enough blood reaching my brain as his nails broke through skin and muscle and maybe damaging a vital organ in my abdomen. Squirming underneath him didn't help much either but only managed to put a smile on his face as he found pleasure in my suffering.

_You . . . Sick bastard . . ._


	7. A Little Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the past: Kaname becomes more aware of what little he has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. I own none of the original Vampire Knight characters used in this fanfiction. I only own the kid(s) that will be featured in later chapters.
> 
> Warning: This story contains yaoi (boyxboy), MPreg, lemons, angst, one ex-human, one pureblood, and a happy ending if at all possible.
> 
> Non-bold text= Past
> 
> Bold Text= Present

~*Kaname's POV*~

Laying his body across the silk linen sheets that covered the master bed of my room, I began to remove his uniform, leaving the lower half untouched. After placing his blazer and white shirt neatly on the night table nearby I figured I should work on the bullet lodged in my shoulder blade, the pain starting to become unbearable. I made my way over the bathroom then, settling in front of the sink. I looked into the mirror against the wall and noticed immediately that my shoulder was slowly decaying around the silver bullet. I made haste then, gripping the bullet tightly. After a few twists here and pulls there, I was able to get the damn thing out before my fingers could disintegrate. Dropping the bullet into the sink, which had been decorated with a few drops of my blood, I focused on the wound which I could feel regenerating slowly but surely.  _It's too bad my uniform got wrecked._

As I reentered the bedroom I caught a glimpse of the silver-haired hunter in deep slumber. The way the moonlight hit his face really brought the angelic features upon his face that were normally hidden. Too say he was beautiful at that moment would be an understatement, the sight of him breathtaking yet also arousing.

 _Taking him unconscious would be so easy, yes but I don't know if I'll be able to control myself._  The bloodlust I felt now while my shoulder healed was increasing rapidly with the smell of his blood, the wound on the side of his waist I had just inflicted upon him only moments ago hadn't begun healing yet and the way his blood continued to seep through the tears in his skin looked so very  **inviting**  that my fangs began to descend.  _It shouldn't go to waste . . ._ I thought as I strolled over to him. I then kneeled by the bedside closest to the wound. Being aware of the situation I figured I should avoid biting so as not to wake him because that would only ruin the moment.

With that final thought I proceeded with caution. Using my tongue first I managed to clean up the red fluid around the wound, the familiar taste of him bringing salvation to my thirst. _Just a little bit more . . . That's all I need._  Covering a part of the wound with my lips I began to suck lightly, the iron taste flowing richly into my mouth. My main objective was to dull my bloodlust which I did accomplish, relishing in the unique taste that could only be Zero's, but in turn I had also heightened another lust, the sexual frustration that came with Blood Bonds. I pulled from the wound suddenly, aware of the heat growing below in my nether regions and my hands suddenly having a mind of their own as they lightly ran over the outline of his waist. My body ached with this frustration, wanting nothing more than to—

_No, control yourself Kaname. You've only just begun._

Standing up I backed away from him slowly before making my way back to the bathroom to tend to other pressing matters.

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

As I lay underneath the shower head, the warm water running down my body and washing away remnants of the viscid, whitish fluid that resulted from my previous act of sexual self-gratification, I realized it's not enough.  _This will never be enough. I need him for this but . . . ._  
  
I groaned at the thought, not very happy with the conclusion I reached. It was something that I had been  
meaning to avoid for as long as possible but unfortunately I can't escape the inevitable. The next few days would surely be hell for the both of us but it's not too late for me to turn back, however to do that I would have to dirty my hands performing inhumane acts. That would be too much work so here I am, a damned pureblood eternally tied to a wretched ex-human vampire hunter. The only thing that makes this even the slightest bit bearable is that he is her descendant.

With a heavy sigh I stood from the floor and resumed to bathe myself. A few minutes later I was back in my bedroom with a towel wrapped tightly around my waist and a hand towel over my hair, my shoulder fully healed. I glanced at Zero, for what had probably been the hundredth time this night, as I took a seat on the bedside. His facial features still looked enchanting as ever to me. Leaning over him to get a better view, I let the curly chocolate locks of my hair drape around me, droplets of water landing against his pale skin.

_For a second I could have sworn I saw her in him, her golden blond braided hair falling gracefully pass her shoulder blades, framing her face perfectly. Though I knew I was hallucinating but I could not deny that her lips looked so alluring that I had come only mere centimeters close to tasting them. But they were not her lips, she was not there._

He came back into view and for that moment I felt sickened by the sight of him.

I retreated then, cursing myself for letting my past get the better of me.  _How will I ever be able to kiss that again? I guess it will just be another obstacle that I'll have to overcome.  
_  
As I glide across the room to settle in the love seat opposite of the window, I look out of the glass to view the Academy grounds. Nothing will be harder than saying goodbye to her and I only have less than 30 hours to do so.  _The life of a pureblood is quite troublesome . . . I only hope Yuki will never have go through this in her lifetime._

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Waking up to pained grunts from the latter across the room, I merely lounged in the loveseat I had since last night in my sleepwear. I had spent that whole time reminiscing over the good moments of my life up until now since I couldn't really catch up on any sleep. I figured, why not try to kill some time? Eventually I dozed off but not for long. During the few minutes I had slept I had met with Shizuka.

_Settled upon her usual branch in a cherry blossom tree, she resumed to pick at the flower petals. I appeared below her, leaning up against the trunk of the tree. I was the first to speak. "Mind explaining to me why you showed him what you did?"_

"Oh it makes everything more entertaining for me. It's too bad you didn't let me finish, I was just getting to the good part too." Shizuka flashed me a smile of utter amusement before resuming to pluck the petals.

Typical, she wouldn't have interfered with my plans were it not beneficial for her in some way. I will just have to make a few adjustments now. I should've foreseen this as a possibility but not every plan is carried out perfectly. No matter. I then curled my finger into a tight fist before taking a step away from the tree. At full force, I strike the trunk dead in the center. A second goes by before there is a creaking sound. The tree cracks and shatters before my eyes as the silver-white haired princess falls down gracefully. In one swift movement I have her neck within my grasp. She glares at me, a defiant look in her eyes.

"Stay out of this from now on," I demand in a low growl before crushing her windpipe in my hand. She gasped at the sudden pressure but soon vanished into thin wisps of air.

The last I heard of her is a small chuckle that echoes before she says, "I'll think about it."

"Where . . . Where am . . . I?" questioned the ex-human softly as he squirmed around in bed. He propped himself up slowly on the back of his elbows, flinching every now and then because his body was most likely sore from my savaging last night. I watched him intently as he came to and viewed his surrounding, those lilac eyes narrowing once they acknowledged mine. "You leech . . . Why did you bring me here?"

"I figured you needed the rest after what happened last night," I answered.

"Of all places . . .," Zero growled. He then proceeded to settle on the side of the bed before trying to stand. Though a bit wobbly at first, he managed to hold his ground. I wondered then, what was driving him to push forward? What was his purpose? I yearn to find out but now was not the time. He croaked, "Where's Bloody Rose?"

I could see a hint of fear glint through his eyes but he quickly masked it with a straight face as he looked around for his weapon.  _He must feel naked without that accursed thing by his side._ I stood too from the loveseat; the chirping of birds could be heard in the background as they flew past the window. "Oh yes, Bloody Rose, it's being kept in confinement for the moment. Don't worry I won't touch and you'll get it back in due time."

Zero looked surprised at my words, mouthing a low "What?" A deep frown formed on his face then as he quickly promenaded over to me with a new fierceness in his eyes. Taking the collar of my night shirt tightly in his hand, he brought our faces closer, touching nose to nose before he spat, "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Control your temper," I warned lowly.

"Like hell I should! You've been plotting something lately, using me for another one of your sick little games but I'm not going to lay back and take it this time," he snarled, the tone of his voice rising, "I'm not one of your pawns to play with and I don't give a fuck if you're a pureblood! Give me back Bloody Rose or so help me!"

I grabbed hold of his wrist firmly then, making him let go of my shirt by force. "You truly are  **pitiful**. A poor lowly ex-human such as yourself should be grateful for my selfless deed, should be  **begging** on your knee for mercy now with the way your acting. Any other pureblood would have gouged out you heart. You don't give a fuck? Then trust me, after I'm through with you'll give a damn and will learn your place."

The second I finished, his hand snapped to the back of my head, gripping my hair tightly before bringing our heads to together at full force, blood dripping down both our foreheads as we fell to the floor. A roar emitted from the ex-human as he proceeded to ball his hand into a tight fist and bring it across my cheek over and over again. Though he didn't make a decent scratch until the tenth punch I gripped his fist mid-way and returned the blow head-on to his nose. He clawed at my chest, tearing through the fabric with ease as he staggered backwards but I held fast to his arm and brought him in for another to strike him again. This time he dodged, ducking underneath in time to use my grip on his arm to his advantage. With his free head, he aimed to claw at my face, managing to break skin over my cheek. I did not take kindly to the mark, my rage now blinding all coherent thoughts in my head. I felt his teeth on my arm then, leaving another mark on my skin. I brought a fist down onto his head, holding back my own strength still because it would have been that easy to kill him. After the beating he finally released his canine-like hold on my skin before taking a blow to his face once more, curling up on the floor for a second.

"Damn it!" I heard him curse as blood mixed with spit began to drizzling out of his mouth, adding to the many blood stains on the carpet below us. Standing I wiped blood from my cheek with the sleeve of my shirt.

"You should have stayed in bed."

"Fuck you," he muttered before launching at me for another attack. I was about to block when he suddenly switched from a frontal attack and slammed his leg into my stomach before taking me by the shoulders and flinging me into a bookcase opposite of us. I heard the shelves break on impact, the thud of books falling to the ground. Recuperating in time for his next attack I managed to dodge him, finding an opening to twist his arm behind his back and subduing him onto the floor. He thrashed about, trying to free himself but his efforts served to be futile.

"Are you done yet?" I asked him. The only answer was a series of vicious snarls as he continued to fight back.  _He's like an animal that needs to be tamed._  I mustn't have been in my right mind because I found this to be quite amusing. I hauled him to his feet suddenly and with a hand gripping the back of his neck and lower back I brought him overhead before tossing him down into a coffee table nearby.  _How easy that was,_ I thought as I stood over his battered body. There was no sound except for his shallow breathing.

Our moment was ruined when there was a sudden knock at the door. I sighed as I announced for the person to come in, seeing Takuma appear from behind the door but as he stepped in he was followed by others.

"Kaname-sama I was going to tell you that the preparations are done but uh . . . Aido-kun and Ruka-san sort of tagged along. They were worried for your well-being," Takuma explained, finding the situation before him to be a little awkward as he spotted said hunter amid the debris of what used to be a coffee table.

Ruka gasped lightly as she took in my appearance. She practically rushed to my side, fussing over me. "What has that bastard done to you? How dare he make a mark on you? He is nothing but a lowly wretch, he is beneath you. Kaname-sama, you don't have to put up with this. Won't you please let me handle hi—

I held my hand up as a signal for her to stop. "Ruka, you need not worry so much for me. As you can see I am perfectly capable of handling him."

She wanted to press further but she knew her place and backed off, muttering, "Yes Kaname-sama."

I noticed Aido had not spoken for his eyes were trained closely on the hunter, a deep scowl on his face. I called him to attention for what I was about to say. "Takuma, I express my gratitude to you for pulling through with my request in such a short time."

With a nervous laugh, Takuma mumbled, "There's no need for that Kaname-sama."

"Is there anything we can help you with Kaname-sama?" Ruka asked, a hint of hope in her voice.

I thought about it for a second. Looking down at my sleepwear I figured I should change seeing that most of it did not survive from the previous brawl. "If it isn't too much trouble, would you be willing to restrain Zero for me again while I clean up in the bathroom?"

"Of course Kaname-sama," answered Ruka immediately, however Aido said nothing. I had stated the task as volunteer work so if he did not wish to perform than I would not press on. I had other things to worry about and deal with.

After thanking Ruka for taking on the job I proceeded to the bathroom, going over what I had planned for the day ahead in the few hours I had left to spend here.  _I will need to make a quick drop by Headmaster's first._

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"Kaname, how could you be so rash? Have you even considered what position you've put him in now?"

"I have taken everything into consideration, pros and cons. Unfortunately for . . . us, the pros outweighed the cons and I went ahead with the procedure and placed the mark on him without a second thought. I do apologize for my actions Headmaster but what's done is done. There's nothing I can do about it now," I concluded as the Headmaster continued to pace back and forth in front of me. There were rare moments when he would lose his cool and this just happened to be one of those moments.

With a heavy sigh, the Headmaster ceased his pacing to lean against his desk, arms folded over his chest. He was utterly serious right now about the matter at hand and with a low voice he asked, "Have you even taking into consideration this might affect Zero personally?"

I nodded before standing from my seat. "As I have said before I have taken everything into consideration. Now if you would excuse me . . ."

"Just let me mention one more thing to you Kaname," the Headmaster added as he stood in front of me, "I will not hesitate to hurt you to protect my son. Understand that?"

"With all due respect Headmaster, that will only go into effect when Zero acknowledges that he is your son," I stated before taking my leave.

So far, everything was going according to plan. Zero was being keep under surveillance and I only had one more task to do before taking my leave from Cross Academy.

**_Ba-bump._ **

_Make that two, I realized as I felt the familiar heat growing below my waist. However I can't approach her until this is dealt with nor can I touch him. How will I handle this on my own now?_


	8. Damaged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the past: Kaname deals with a problem that in a way hurts someone else in the process but now he is free to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. I own none of the original Vampire Knight characters used in this fanfiction. I only own the kid(s) that will be featured in later chapters.
> 
> Warning: This story contains yaoi (boyxboy), MPreg, lemons, angst, one ex-human, one pureblood, and a happy ending if at all possible.
> 
> This particular chapter does contain a small Lemon but it is not KanaZero. Read at your own discretion! Don't bitch to me about it when I'm warning you now. You may skip the scene when you hit the first: .o.o.o.o.o.o.o. and keep scrolling until you hit another .o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
> 
> Non-bold text= Past
> 
> Bold Text= Present

~*Kaname's POV*~

_Hunger._

_**Heat**._

_Frustration._

_Not a **Want** but a  **Need**._

_Touch._

_Feel._

_Gentle._

_**Hard**._

_Restless._

_Desperate._

_Crave._

_**Devour**._

_Yuki? No._

_**Zero**._

I . . .

"Kaname-sama?"

 _Damn it_ , I cursed mentally as I registered the familiar blonde who had appeared suddenly, his porcelain skin dazzling in the bits of sunlight that managed to seep through the curtains of a secluded dorm room. I straightened a little to make myself look presentable in my current condition even if the room did not. I positioned myself with a knee up to my chin, a elbow rested upon it while the other hand supported me from behind as I tried my best to conceal the forming bulge below my navel from the naked eye. I couldn't care less if he could smell my arousal, sense the rising warmth in my body. The point was that I did not wish to acquire any help because this was my burden to bear.  _But_   _did **I** truly believe that?_

"I apologize for intruding Kaname-sama but . . .," trailed off the aristocrat as his eyes began to trail down my body, an uncomfortable look in them at first but behind that I could see a dim longing.

I tried to speak in a calm tone, asking him, "What is it Hanabusa?" I had not met for it to come out in the form of a vicious growl, the struggle to restrain this smoldering desire within me evident to him now. I bite back another growl, my breathing heavy and a pulsating headache that felt like my head could split open any second. While the tips of my finger massaged my temple to ease this excruciating pain, I waited for an answer. Moments of silence passed by, the ticking of an old grandfather clock being the only sound between us. With each passing second I grew impatient because when I glanced at him I saw not another creature such as myself but rather something, an object that could be used. "If you're not going to answer then you may take your leave. I have no time-

"Do you require assistance Kaname-sama?" The question had been straightforward and though I refused to answer I knew I couldn't deny it and unfortunately he did too. Aidou boldly bent down in front of me then, not an ounce of fear in those icy blue eyes of his as he proceed to strip himself of his uniform.

Before he could discard his shirt I grabbed at one of his hands and warned him in a low voice, "Don't do this. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into."

"On the contrary, I do," Aidou said simply while gently forcing his hand out of my grip. He resumed, removing his shirt to reveal the upper part of his body, the sight of him tantalizing.  _Should I give in or keep fighting the inevitable?_  The blonde leaned in closer to me. Resting the back of his hand against my neck, he pointed out, "Your control is dwindling Kaname-sama."

"Get out," I ordered.

"No, I won't leave you here," Aidou refused before urging softly, "Let me help you instead Kaname-sama."

 _Why not let him help me? He's so eager to, I've warned him enough and there's no other better way to rid myself of this . . . But I couldn't imagine using someone in that way and toss them aside so easily afterwards. For blood it's to keep myself sane and avoid maiming others out of blinding rage but for sex, to only seek that sexual pleasure greedily to relief one's self? It would be despicable but what better options do I have?  
_  
While battling my inner conscience on right and wrong I realized my biggest concern was that if I participated in this act I would consider myself to be . . .  **unfaithful**? Why is it I feel I would be unfaithful, having never slept with anyone in my lifetime? Is it because I'm bonded to him? There is too much consideration going into this but I must admit this was quite the predicament I've placed myself in. Yet it was  **too much** , too much deciding on whether or not to pursue inner desires, coming up with many reasons to just take Aidou since he was willing but also arguing with myself to hold off. With so much turmoil going inside, my body trembles hysterically yet the rush of excitement and aching pain in my groin never ceases, all of these emotions and sensations slowly becoming unbearable.  _What am I to do?  
_  
"Please Kaname-sama, you need this. I can help you right now, when you need it the most." His words sounded sincere in the form of a small plea and his icy blue eyes reflected his concern, his desire to help but there also a flicker of wanting, like he wanted to gain something in return for his deed and he knew very well what he could gain.  _He would be my first . . .  
_  
I came to a conclusion right then and there. Unfortunately, I can't deny that this is what I  **need**. No other opportunity at this moment will come and with control slipping away by the second I have few options left. My fangs poke the inside of my gums as I grit my teeth to refrain from biting; the rich metallic taste tickles against the taste buds on my tongue that are screaming for something more delectable _. I can't hold off any longer . . ._

"Kaname-sama," Aidou whispered gently against my ear, the tips of his slender fingers ghosting over my jawline. I closed my eyes, taking deep shaky breaths. I could feel his hands snake around the back of my neck, the cool touch contrasting with my burning skin. "I'm at your service."

"So be it," I said. Before we could proceed I grasped his wrist firmly and warned him, "Anything but a kiss on the lips."

For a moment there was absolute silence and I could feel him tense above me, his nails almost pricking my skin. If he didn't agree to the terms, if he didn't abide to this one rule then this would all come to an end and though I would suffer greatly it wouldn't matter.  _Anything but a kiss on the lips . ._.

"Fine."

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"K-Kana- Ah!"

"Keep your voice down. The walls have ears," I mumbled to him before slipping into him with some difficulty, my hands keeping the lower half of his body steady by his hips. I regretted not performing the necessary preparations as he was painfully tight inside and I could smell a hint of his blood as the blonde bit his tongue to refrain from making more noise. From the back, I saw his head drop low until it rested against the wooden floor, his arms giving way underneath him. I growled between gritted teeth as I proceeded to slide in deeper, the tension from the muscles clamping down on my length. I then slid back out just as slowly, a breeze tickling against my throbbing member but I forced myself back in. It was painful, so very painful that it felt so good and I craved for more. My mind blurred with the pleasure I felt as I continued to pound into the noble beneath me, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the vacant room. I let my eyes flutter close then.  _Feels . . . it feels . . . so good . . . **so good**  . . .Zero._

"Nnh!" I open heavy eyelids to the whimper, a haze of pleasure clouding my vision. As my eyes settled on the back of his head, for a second I saw blonde turn to silver white and suddenly I was captivated by those amethyst eyes looking back, filled to the brim with lust as sweat slithered down from his forehead. His mouth moved forming broken words that fell mute on my ears but I knew what he wanted even though he couldn't form a complete sentence for it. "P-please! Ah-deeper . . . please! Faster!"

I lean in closer his body as I let my lips ghost over the skin, trailing over the light imprint of his spine. While picking up the pace of the steady rhythm we had found, I peppered kisses down his back, the scent of him filling my nose and the sound of his nail scratching against the floor was like music to my ears. I grunted as I felt myself lose control, lost in him as I thrust harder then and as fast as I possibly could to reach ecstasy.  _Zero, how could you have such power over me? You put my devotion to Yuki in question and . . . how could you make want you so bad? Such rare being and I'm yearning for your unique taste, your touch, to hear your voice. I wanted to kiss those succulent lips, know every inch of his body, wanted to pleasure him. I . . . can't help myself . . . with these fantasies. So close . . . to the edge._   _I need . . ._

I brought myself up to his shoulder blade leaving heavy hickeys against his pale skin, marking him. As I made my way to his neck, my ears began to pound with the sound of his heart beating faster as I inched closer to the vein pulsating underneath that breath-taking skin of his. I snake a hand into his hair and pull his head back a bit and off to the side so that his neck is fully exposed, licking the an earlobe with a flick of my tongue.  _His taste . . ._ I think as I pull back my lips to reveal my fangs that were just eager to penetrate his flesh. I paused as a felt a burning shivering sensation below, a low moan escaping my mouth as his name followed almost in a breathless gasp. "Zero."

I dug in to his skin then, expecting to receive that familiar blissful taste of his that I had grown to know and yearn for so much but I did not receive what I wanted. The taste was so bland to me, so foul that my taste buds screamed in agony, rejection, and I just as quickly pulled my fangs out as reality settled in. I noticed the blonde strands settled at the base of his neck and could smell his noble blood seeping out of the wound I'd just inflicted upon him.  _Hanabusa . . . Aidou . . ._  Then it hit me. A wave of pleasure that signaled I had reached my climax and before I could spill into him I quickly pulled out. I hated losing the feeling of being inside his heated cavern but I could not take the risk so I jerked myself off the rest of the way, the white fluid that was mine spilling over onto his back while I hunched over him from the sensation, bucking my hips as I rode the wave for as long as I could.  _Damn it . . . that was too close to call._

I had not noticed how exhausted I was until I collapsed on top of the noble, the sticky, slick fluid I had just released squishing between our bodies, mixing with the salty sweat we had perspired during the act. Our heavy pants echoed off the walls as we came down from our peak. However, I didn't rest for long, my strength already recuperating and breathing returning to its stable pace once more. Though I sat up, resting my upper body against the wall while I pulled my pants back up and buckled my belt, Aidou remained where he lay, curling into himself.

When I caught a glimpse of his eyes I knew something was wrong, something was different. The boy that had come onto me only mere minutes ago had evaporated, he was no longer there but replaced by his ghost. Aidou didn't look at me but rested against the wooden floor, his eyes looking towards the ground but seemed distance against his now stoic face while his knees seemed to inch in closer and arms tuck in tighter around his body, as if he were shielding himself.  _Shielding himself from . . . me? Most likely._  I questioned myself as a very small pang of guilt settled into my . . . heart.  _Was this my doing?_

I left out a heavy sigh before calling him. "Aidou?"

"Hmm?" he answered, lifting his head a bit before quickly correcting himself, "I mean . . . Yes Kaname-sama?"

I noted he sounded like himself but there was still something off. Yet I could not allow myself to worry over him at a time line this. Speaking of time, I'm running late. Quickly I grabbed the remains of our clothing since I was to departure in less than two hours. I held out his blazer by the shoulder pads and gestured for him to sit up. He obeyed and while I placed the light jacket around I suggested, "You might want to get cleaned up."

He nodded weakly, peeking over his shoulder as if he were expecting me to say more but he gave a half-smile, taking his clothes from my hands. Though this was probably the last moment we would see each other for a while, I decided to take my leave then, not just for myself but also because what I'd left behind was a damaged boy who would need just as much time to heal.

_One too many are going to hurt with the path I have chosen to go down. Have I chosen the right path then?_

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

As I made my way to the front of the Moon Dormitory, I was met by Takuma who merely nodded as he held the front door open for me, revealing the small limo waiting outside for my departure. I paused before stepping out of what I considered to be my home. Though I chose now to hesitate, Takuma merely flashed a sad, understanding smile but I could not return it with that same emotion. He could not understand my situation completely unless he was in my shoes but that will not stop him from showing some sort of sympathy.  _However I was forgetting something . . ._

"Kaname-sama." She appeared at the top of the stairs dressed casually for once.  _Yes, how could I forget her so easily?_ As Yuki made her way down the stairs towards me with that bubbly smile of hers, one that I had grown to love so much, she greeted me.  _How do I begin to explain my sudden leave from school? Should I lie for her well-being? Or should I cause more damage by telling her the truth? Telling little white lies would only benefit one for so long until the truth was revealed and something learning the truth then hurts more. I could never hurt her like that and maybe in time she'll forgive me for my sinful deeds._

"Yuki," I began, still thinking about what I should say. Then I remembered her, the one who had given me my name, an all too familiar face clouding my mind in the midst of my farewell. I then pulled her into my chest, the warmth of her body soothing to me. I whispered against her ear, "Forgive me for leaving you so suddenly but I have chosen to . . . walk down a path which you cannot."

"Uh, K-Kaname-sama," Yuki mumbled and I could tell by her small voice she was confused but she did not want to ask farther questions. Maybe she was afraid or maybe she knew that the truth would hurt her more and she was protecting herself but then again I couldn't know for sure. I wanted to make this as quick and painless for her.

So I repeated those same words I heard over ten thousand years ago from the one who gave me my name. "I know you'll always be good Yuki because you're such a good girl with a heart of pure gold. That's why I know you'll be fine, even when I'm not around. I hope you'll understand one day and come to forgive an awful man such as myself." I then placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, savoring the feel of her soft skin against my lips. We stayed in such positions for the moment, neither one of us wanting to break this connection but I pulled out of the embrace. It hurt to see the sadness in her eyes, the many questions she wanted to ask and the little hope there was left for her to make me stay somehow.  _If only I could stay Yuki . . . but then you would only end up getting hurt and your fragile heart can't take that much._

Yuki didn't say much as I took my leave then and I could not dare to look back because I knew I would only make this harder for the both of us. Now the time has come for us to separate and it was a painful moment. All those times I spent with her before she was turned, protecting her and sharing the outside world with her because she could not go out due to Haruka and Juri's wishes, the many smiles we shared, how she would call me onii-sama and even now, though her memories had been sealed away for her own protection she was still Yuki, Yuki Kuran, the daughter of Haruka and Juri.  _I'm sorry I have failed you two, I could not keep my promise._ I entered the automobile before me then, slipping into the backseat with ease and closing the door behind me. Through tinted windows I could see her, standing on the steps, the tears flowing out of the corners of her eyes then. She covered her mouth for a moment as if trying to refrain from sobbing, her small frame shivering, but she just as quickly forced a smile on her face and waved to me. She was trying so hard and I hated myself for doing this to her. I looked away, averting my attention to the ex-human that sat across from me, his hands, feet and mouth bond but his eyes full of hatred as he glared at me.  _They should have covered those too._

The car sprung to life then and pulled off from the Moon Dormitory. Time seemed to move slowly then as we drove past the Sun Dormitory and then pass Cross Academy. I began to wonder what he must be feeling, for this had truly been his home since Kaien had brought him here. Now he has to leave that all behind since I have given him little to no choice whatsoever.  _Should I have let Yuki see him one last time? No, he didn't deserve that luxury and he would have only caused more problems. Besides Yuki will notice his absence eventually._

"You know instead of glaring at me, you should work on that attitude of yours," I suggested sourly before looking out the window as trees flew by, "Before I fix it myself."

_I can guarantee you, Zero, that you won't like me as much when I'm angry and I have very little **patience**  at the moment. I hope you would be wise to shape up now; it would be less troublesome for the both of us._

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.


	9. God Help The Outcasts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero learns about the mark of the rose and what is to be expected of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a pretty long and slightly painful chapter for me to write for you guys. Without this little note it around 4,500 words, 8 pages long in Microsoft Word. So I hope for some of you this was worth the wait but this chapter can be avoided because there’s a lot of . . . KanaZero feels here in a negative way. Have mercy on me but I refuse to give you a happy sappy lovey-dovey story that I feel doesn’t fit the characters. I’m saying we’re not going to reach that point at some time but it’s a process and I’m working my way up there slowly but surely.  
> If you find what you read to be disgusting that’s okay but don’t start bashing my story. This wasn’t as easy for me to right and try to portray the feelings of rape, it’s hard. But I felt this story called for it and it sort of makes a reference back to original of this fanfiction SWBSR (So Wrong But So Right). The pregnancy is neither wanted nor planned and it is, in a sense, forced. Well that’s my look on it but agree to disagree if you want readers. I still love you all who have stuck through so far and showed support. 
> 
> WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS RAPE. Read at your own discretion.

_Thousands of years ago there were humans and, hidden alongside them, vampires. Only a handful of them existed at the time but as they became more aware that there was more of them a simple game turned into a dilemma and so the monarchy began. The founders of this parasitic race were given the title of purebloods, in modern day they are described as the ancient ones. It only took one pureblood to recklessly puncture the skin of a human being with venomous fangs. A line that had been drawn between humans and vampires was being to run thin and the world itself slipped into unbalance. As a result, hunters were born by the blood of an ancient one, their purpose being to maintain balance between vampires and humans, for if balance were not maintained the world itself would crumble slowly into a never-ending abyss. And a revolution began against that of vampires and vampire hunters. The scars of that revolution still remain visible to this day where very few purebloods are left in existence and the Council as well as the Association keep a watchful eyes over the new generation of vampires while trying to establish peace among themselves with the humans. However, though scars were left from thousands of years ago, new scars have formed in place on that of the new generation. Some were visible, others more internal and kept a secret. Tragedies, unfortunate events, still fall upon young victims today._

_And no matter how hard they scream for justice, vengeance or to end long suffering, no one is there to listen. No one is **ever** there to listen._

~Zero's POV~

The slamming of the car door had vibrated through my ears and I woke startled, my eyes emerging slowly from underneath heavy eyelids as I registered the setting before me. I was still in the car, the upper part of my body leaning against the car door from where I had supposedly dozed off. However, it was not usual for me to fall asleep so it must have been forced, a precaution to keep me in the dark of our whereabouts and most likely to lower the chances of escape. Kaname had truly been planning for how this day would turn out, had he not? Everything has gone his way so far and he wasn’t done yet. By this assumption I remain unsettled but on guard. Looking down I noticed the lack of restrains that had been placed on my person earlier. Suddenly movement from outside the automobile interrupts my train of thought but I do not take the initiative to figure out who the culprit was. I remained in my current position like dead weight as I massaged my wrists, my heart beat and the steady rhythm of my own breathing being the only sounds that brought me little comfort.

Then I began to wonder why I was in fact alone. Truth be told I’m not complaining, I don’t it so much. I actually couldn’t find enough time to just be alone and left alone. Those times were a luxury in it of themselves but this was not one of those times. Yet there wasn’t much I could do at the moment, no opportunities to escape. Kaname and Seiren were around here, somewhere nearby, but I would do nothing but wait and become acquainted with the new surroundings through the tinted of the car. I notice how the car idled on the only gravel road leading through a dense forest which that surrounded the cleared plot of land. The pureblood had mostly likely isolated us from civilization itself but at best guess I assumed we were on the outskirts of the city. In the center of this land with thick iron bars serving as a barricade and forming an extravagant floral design at the gate, stood a dark beige Victorian-styled house. It was two floors tall with gray slated roofs, sash windows with large panes of glass and maroon borders around it. One part of the roof formed a cylinder cone, giving off the impression of a small castle. _For anyone else this would have merely been a dream come true but in my mind this was a nightmare coming to life with each passing second._ _I couldn’t trouble myself over that now. I would get out of here one way or another when the chance came. Just wait._

The click of the door brought my attention once more and I found myself sitting up straight as my door was swung open. I squinted as the sunlight flooded in, registering the figure that stood before me. “You’re presence is wanted inside.”

“And if I don’t-

“I’d advise you not to push the young prince and be grateful he sent me to fetch you, not by force might I add as well,” Seiren stated in monotone with little emotion on her naturally stoic face.

 _Suddenly the “young prince” wants to be a gentleman now,_ I thought with an incredulous laugh slipping out of my mouth. Seiren didn’t seem to care for my reaction as much, she was practically Kaname’s own personal servant that would do his bidding and she didn’t waste time on what was, in her opinion, a pitiful creature. She didn’t need to say a word on it either because her cold eyes said enough, the same exact look vermin like her use when they scrutinize me. _I despise the very sight of them, all of them._

As I exit the car, I head up to the front gate without skipping a beat. Pushing the gate open as it squeaked with the turn, I strolled through the walkway and walking up cement steps. I only paused just before reaching the door, realizing how rushed I was being. At that I looked behind to kind Seiren was not accompanying me the rest of the way. The car remained outside the now locked gate, yet her presence had vanished all together. It was my own weakness to never think things through, just fight the problem head on. I had placed myself in the current circumstances but that didn’t mean the situation was not subject to change. And with that I turned and grabbed the handle before turning. Pushing the door open I stepped into the house, the soles of my shoes tapping against the marble flooring. From the outside the house had looked old-fashioned, not preparing outsiders for what was actually inside. In simpler words, I could admit this was a house fit for someone of higher status, a vampire prince such as Kaname himself. However, I would not be planning on making a home out of this place. Besides, it didn’t suit me naturally as it did for him. _I was better off back at the Academy. There’s no place for me here._

“I see you came in of your own free will.” The silk voice of the dark prince had come from above as he stood at the top of the curved stairway that led to the second floor. He stood there, leaning on one hand against the banister as threatening crimson tinted eyes looked down on me lazily.

“Trust me, if I was actually given a choice I would have sunk a bullet through your skull before leaving your body to rot in this little playhouse mansion of yours,” I remarked sourly. “But I’m sure an upright standing bastard of a prince such as yourself will let me know when I do have a choice, right?”

“Again I recommend you learn when to bite your tongue at the time you are addressing me,” Kaname pointed out with no wavering of his voice. “Have you always been this difficult or is it just a trait you Kiryuus come with?”

I blankly ignored the question as I stared at the pureblood above. He merely stared back as if he were expecting me to give an answer. I didn’t have to affiliate myself with him. It honestly was none of his business what was in my family’s history. Breaking the eye contact, I looked ahead saying tiredly, “Let me know when you’ve figured that out for yourself.”

“I just prefer to be prepared for later on,” he remarked, a hand raking chocolate brown lock back like a reflex, each strand falling back into place with ease. _Everything he says is always making a reference to the future. Just what exactly are you planning Kuran?_

At this, all my questions and thoughts poured out of my mouth. “And just what do you mean exactly? What’s your purpose for requiring my presence by your side lately? I disgust you, you disgust me. The nature of our relationship is that of pure hatred. Why have the both of us placed under house arrest like criminals when we’re just _itching_ to rip each other’s throat out? It honestly makes no sense why you’ve gone through all this trouble. If the objective was to exile me from society, I would have preferred being sent up here to live alone; at least I’m used to it. It’s puzzling, all of this. I wonder if you plan to explain yourself any time soon.”

There was a short pause then and in between me glancing back up at him, eyes narrowing into thin slits, he began to make his way down. Suddenly there was a pang of pain in my neck, right over the base of my tattoo that had been altered with the rosette design. And as he drew closer the pain seemed to escalate with a deafening pulsation that pounded on eardrums endless and I could almost feel my skin growing warmer. _It was like having an attack of some sort but they were growing closer with every passing day._ Just as soon as it had come the pain was gone. At that point I hadn’t realized my eyes were closed and when they snapped I found him standing incredibly close, a hand covering the mark. His scent was overpowering, almost suffocating but intoxicatingly sweet as I bit down on my bottom lip and breathed in slowly. _Why was I suddenly aroused by such a simple intimate touch? It wasn’t right for me to feel this way; it was a foreign feeling that had no business polluting my very being. I wanted to resist it all together, to swallow it and lock it away for good like before._

“I can see you fighting it, that strange feeling I’m giving you now? It’s make you sick doesn’t it?” Surprisingly I could agree with the pureblood for once. He had read my mind and voiced my thoughts since I was unable to. “It happens because of the mark and also because the night of the new moon is near. Seeing as you have not made the right connections I will have to spell it out for your sake but I will not repeat myself again. The mark of the rose is a symbol, only capable of Kuran purebloods, who wish to take on a lower being as a partner, a mate. In two days the rose will bloom on the night of the new moon you will slip into heat. That is an insignia that conception is possible. You can figure out what follows after, can’t you?”

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

I sat against the marble floor down the hallway on the first floor. My nails scarped over the rose lightly as my head drooped between my knees in the dark like a zombie.

_A mate, he said, a partner. That was what the rose meant._

Scrape . . . Scrape

_He planned to sleep with me the night after the next, to conceive once the rose bloomed. And what I do? Roll over and obey?_

Scrape . . . Scrape

_What gave him the right? What gave **them** the right to fuck up and take away my life? Did I not deserve to live the way I wished? Apparently I have not been granted the luxury of choice, only cursed to suffer indefinitely._

Scrape . . . Scratch . . . Scratch . . . Scratch

_Had I done wrong in a previous life to deserve this? Being born a twin was taboo to hunters because one would eventually devour the other. Was this punishment for greed because I had almost absorbed my brother? I would have rather not been born if I knew this was to become of me, a vampire, outcast and potential mate to bear demon spawns._

Dig . . . Dig . . . Dig

_Yet what more did I expect from my life? Everything I’d ever loved had been stripped away and left me utterly alone. Life has been unfair and there was no way it could ever get better. Yet why did I yearn to survive? Why did I fight? To avenge those I’ve lost, those I couldn’t protect? Was I trying to make a statement to the hunters and blood suckers that looked down on me? That I was worth something? Maybe I’m fooling myself to keep living and hoping that at the end I’ll be able to embrace the light that had abandon me for so long, to feel it’s comforting warmth engulfing this dying body. I almost had retrieve that light but she too was removed from the picture. It almost feels like what’s left of me will shatter._

Burrow . . . Dig . . . Cut . . .

I could smell it, the scent of my blood as it seeped out through broken skin. I had done this before. Mutilating my body because everything else had been too much and the pain seemed to ease it away. It reminded me of the night I met Yuki. I was covered in blood and even after shedding my clothes I could still feel that woman there. She caught me in the act later, swatting my hand away and helping me get cleaned up but Yuki wasn’t here now. The pain from Shizuka still hovered in that area but it was like a ghost overshadowed by another. I could feel **him** through that mark, like a sickness, a virus that had invaded but white blood cells could not destroy. _Get out. Get out. Get out,_ I repeated as I grinded my teeth together, my nails seeming to grow sharper and dig deeper to tear through the flesh like paper. I could feel the warm liquid dripping down my collarbone from the deep gashes in my skin. It came in contact with my shirt leaving dark stains but I didn’t stop because he was still there, taunting me. _Get out. Get out. Get out._

_Leave me alone. Just leave me to die alone._

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

**My body felt like it drifting on the bed of the sea. All sense of my motor skills felt as they’d floated away, floated out of my reach. I couldn’t even tell if I had a body at all. I could no longer lift the hoods of my eyes, they were much too heavy and my breathing was shallow, even with the oxygen mask. My ears were my only way of registering what was going on around me but there was so much noise, so much frantic sounds contrasting with each other that I felt myself drifting in and out constantly. Where had my energy gone? I felt drained completely like the life was being sucked right out of me. But that couldn’t have been right and I couldn’t die, not yet. I wanted to see him at least once. I _needed_ to see him and hold him.**

**Almost like a messenger, his satin silk-like voice reached me. “Come back Zero.”**

**_Where had I gone exactly? Will you tell me? Are you not there beside me?_ **

**My questions went unanswered as more please to wake up continued to flow into my ears. “You have to come back to us. You need to see him, please. Don’t leave us like this.”**

**_It is not as if I don’t want to be there. I want to see him just as badly but I feel so tired . . . I’m not sure if I will be able to make it. I’m sorry._ **

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

I paused in my search at the glass panels doors which lead to the backyard, watching the sun continue to set on the horizon, the purple pink sky slowly vanishing as the dark moved to cover it. I was running out of time. I needed to find it and there was only one place I hadn’t touched yet in my search. I bolted through the living room then, flying up the stairs and down the hall until I reached the end, oak wood doors with intricate carvings blocking my way. I hesitate at first, a strike of fear settling in my stomach but I brushed the feeling. _I don’t care if he finds me because if there’s a chance it’s here I’ll gladly take._ I took a few steps back before launching myself at the door. _BAM!_

The doors didn’t budge, I had to push harder. Setting myself up once again I launched my body at the doors once again with as much strength as I could muster. After a loud crack the doors swung open with ease, revealing the master bedroom behind it. In less than two minutes I had turned literally turned the room upside down, drawers and clothes tossed on the floor, closet opened and cleaned of everything in sight and books thrown as I cleaned out the book shelf frantically. _Think Zero THINK!_ The pureblood would be here any second, the heat would come next and I had no intention of staying. I’d rather fight heat alone then sit still and wait for the pureblood to claim my body in that way.

The adrenaline was pumping through every vein in my body but I had to remain focus and think quickly. I slid down onto the floor and searched underneath the bed. Nothing. Pulling out I pushed clothes and books out the way to clear the wooden floor, thinking maybe I had missed something as a shudder went through my body at the sound of the door opening. That’s when I noticed it as if the answer had been staring me right in the face all along. There was thin gap between two pieces, very thin but I still caught the glint of silver underneath it. _Bloody Rose._

Footsteps echoed off the stairs as the pureblood began to ascend. Each second became more precious as they went by fast and I worked to get the plank up. At the very last second I had pried the plank of wood from the floor and my gun pointed directly at the entrance where he stood now. We stood in that instance only mere feet away from each other.

“Nice of you to trash my house while I was away,” said Kaname as he leaned casually against the frame of the door.

“A bullet through the heart is all it takes.”

“Believe me Zero, you aren’t much of a real threat yet,” the pureblood pronounced as a vibrant glint of hungry red formed around his pupils. There wasn’t much left to say, it was both I take the shot or succumb to his will and there was no way in hell I would ever give into someone like him, even if my life were on the line which it mostly likely was. I took the shot and another, watching his body crash to the floor like a rag doll. _It was easy . . . Too easy._

Like a whisper in the dark, against the shell of my ear, he hissed, “Like I said before, you shouldn’t underestimate the power of a pureblood.”

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

 I awoke with a jump, my head snapping upward as I found myself lying flat on my stomach in the bed of the master room. From my mouth I could only let out muffled sounds for a piece of cloth had been wrapped around it. Trying to move I was met with the sound of clinking as the chains around my feet and wrists jangled at my movement. I was bound on all four corners of the bed and this realization led me into a thrashing fit. I kicked and clawed hysterically, cried out as I beat against the mattress with tight fists. I couldn’t get out, my adrenaline pulling faster than ever as I put everything into breaking the goddamn chains but with movement restrictions and wasted cries I found myself at a lost. Though the room was dimly lit I could still sense eyes on the back of my head, a predator lurking about in the back as it circled its prey. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him closing in tauntingly slow, like this was all a game. I hadn’t realized I was panicking more so as I twisted, pulled and yanked at the chains, arms and legs flapping around like a two year old throwing a tantrum. The problem was I wasn’t child and this wasn’t about a toy or candy, what was coming I did not grant permission to happen. The act would be forced on me, this would be rape. It had nothing to do with heat but everything to do with power, the power to take away what little dignity I had left to my name because he could.

Suddenly the ghost of a finger was dancing against my back, tracing my spine with only the fabric of my shirt serving as a barrier. My body tensed at the sensation while I was still trying to fight back. But then he had the hem of my shirt in his shirt, yanking it up and over my head letting it remain bunch up around the sleeves of my arms. _This is not what I want._ I tremble and let out a low gruff whine as I feel his hands slide up my sides and come back down, resting at the curve of my hips. _He can’t do this to me, it’s not right!_

 I was on the edge of hysteria as he shed my lower half quickly, my body bared completely and at his full discretion. I banged my head and fists against the mattress as the light wisps of his breath tickled against the small of my back, still trying to twist myself away. But his long hands gripped at my outer thighs to restrain resistance while he lowered his head and began to moisten my entrance shamelessly. A strangled cry was let out but alongside the torment and another sensation surged through my body. My skin suddenly burned as if flames were licking at every inch of my body, my skin could have melted off. A rush of warmth caused me to sweat and a lower part of me seemed to become overwhelmed with the flare, aching for release. _Was this the heat?_

_Heat didn’t change my mind set on that fact I did not want to partake in such a foul act. I yearned for the release from this, the freedom to actually have a say and be able to walk away. It was my body to be used at my discretion, not an object to be toyed with and only met for the pureblood’s benefit, not his property. There was no mutual understanding, nothing was fair and the whole situation was absolutely frightening and rotten to the bone. And I knew the pureblood would never perform the current act on Yuki but if she were to see him now . . . If she were to know the truth of her precious prince, would she still be able to see the good in him? Vampires were merely beasts in human form but Kaname was beyond that. He was a monster._

I growled ferociously as his nails punctured my skin, the feel of his tongue massaged at the edge of the opening pulling away. My heart was beating like a hammer, so loud he could probably hear it over. I fell into a hysterical state of gagged screams, swishing my head around to the point where I could have also broken my neck. My thighs remain locked under his grip and his knees atop the back of mine to cut off blood circulation to my lower legs. Everything seemed to haze in my mind with a mix of fear and lust fighting to overpower the other but I remained in a conscious state because my will was overpowering. Yet I cursed that I could not use my words, being muted with a cloth. I wanted to protest against this but I could only make so many noises that sound like a dying animal. At that point, over my raging heartbeat I could hear obscene sounds of friction mixing with wantonness mewls. He was preparing himself and I was not ready, I would never be.

It came painfully slow, the pain rippling through the entrance first before shooting up my very spine. I felt as my body would split in half as I let out another strangled cry. Hot tears clouded my sight as I burrowed my face into the sheets, my fingers curling in. The intrusion brought so much pain that I could literally feel the muscle ripping and knew there would be blood. Nothing in this was pleasurable. It was disgusting, immoral and wrong. I longed for the pain to end soon or to faint from it so I didn’t have to experience it any longer. _God, it hurts._

More obscene sounds emerged as he began to move with each thrust, growling like the animal he was. I bite down hard on the cloth my fangs protruding through the fabric as the pureblood continued. It seemed to go on for an eternity, as if the torture would never end. The heat subsided once he reached his climax and laid his seed inside. Just like that it was over. It had all happened in less than an hour on the night a new moon and I was left drained and deprived of any heat as his fluid began to trickle down my inner thigh.

_The deed was done. The scars and bruises still remain, coloring against my pale complexion. Tragedies, unfortunate events, still fall upon young victims day by day like me._

_Life becomes unbearable to live with each passing second that I realize I’m truly alone._

_And no matter how hard **I scream** for justice, vengeance or to end long suffering, no one is there to listen. No one is **ever** there to listen._

_So help me please . . . To any higher being that can hear my pleas, if I am truly cursed I seek your salvation. If I am to bear such a demon please take pity on me end my life quickly. This way I won’t feel so alone and I can embrace your light._


	10. Tiny Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero makes a tough decision and discovers something about the Kuran family.

~Zero's POV~

The night had ended once the new moon settled back behind the Earth’s horizon in west and the sun began to rise in its place from the east. There had been no words exchanged between the pureblood and I after the adulterous act was committed. He had merely my unbound the chains and left quietly, disappearing like a shadow in the little darkest left. I turned to lie on my side, trying to curl my knees in but the task proved to be difficult from the scorching pain between my legs. The seed of his manhood had dried up, mixed with blood that caked my inner thigh as well. I feel dirty and almost dead. I still feel him inside and it makes me sick. But mostly I feel ashamed over something that I did not partake in willingly. I could not fathom how this came to be in a matter of days but he made it happen and it was happening. I would be angry but I have little strength and I feel exhausted. Yet I push myself to sit up slowly so that my legs dangle off the side of the bed. With slow sluggish movement, I slide off the bed and make my way over to the nearest bathroom, happening to be against a wall opposite from the entrance to the bedroom. After entering I close and lock the door behind me. Walking up to this point had been a difficult task as I tried taking baby steps to lessen the pain from my lower half but it was still there. I then stepped into the shower and quickly turned the knob. Water then spurted from the shower head, my skin stinging from the cold. It felt better as the liquid began to turn warmer and wash over my body. I had myself braced against a corner of the shower so that I was directly under it. I watched as my blood flowed down in the drain below me, mixing with the white fluid, courtesy of the pureblood. The sight was disturbing as I remember exactly how the rape had played out. My chest tightened and my body seemed to shake uncontrollably as my eyes clouded up as I stifled a cry in the back of my throat.

“Nnh!” I had made the sound out of pain as I began to slowly descend to the shower floor. The pain from my backside was nail-biting agony. I tilted my head back with shaky breaths as I let the many beads of water splashed against my skin. The pain was now a dull throbbing but still there and it would never go away.

I could bare this pain, physical pain. I’ve bared a lot of things in my short lifetime, from the death of my parents and the bite from Shizuka up to the mutilation on my very flesh until now. But what was to come after this, what was to be expected in a matter of months, this I could not deal with physically but more so emotionally. To think of being a caretaker to offsprings’ of his, which were not of my own desire to breed in the first place, was despicably out of the question. My breathing quickened at the thought, growing higher in pitch as I settled on the back of my heels. Then something snapped abruptly and all that pain I felt was let out in a strangled cry. I heaved in air, the sound of broken sobs echoing off the bathroom walls.

_Where had Zero Kiryuu vanished to? The one crying over past events in shower was not him. It could not be Zero Kiryuu, it couldn’t be but maybe it was. Once you broke down on the walls and peeled back his skin inch by inch, you’d see that behind the mask there was just a boy. A boy still crying but he was also waiting. He doesn’t want to live but he had his reasons to keep pressing on. Maybe he still does, maybe he doesn’t. Right now the boy was in heart-wrenching turmoil. Torn between the little decisions he had and constantly questioning himself, what did he have to live for? What did he have left?_

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

It had not dawned on me that a week had already gone by since the night of the new moon until I heard something today while I lay in bed stiffly. The pain between my legs had healed but I hadn’t eaten or drank any blood since the move, I was basically malnourished physically but I was also a ticking time bomb waiting to set off mentally. I think what I was hearing now had triggered the countdown. With sensitive ears I zeroed in on a low thrumming just beneath my navel. It had just started not too long ago but there was little chance it would ever stop now. Then the rhythm melded with mine own to match and mask itself as if it were taking shelter. Just like that it disappeared.

“No, no this can’t be happening,” I whined lowly as I let a hand slide down and rest over my abdomen. My mouth suddenly went dry and I couldn’t bring myself to say what I wanted as the dull burning in my throat intensified. On top of this _thing_ growing inside me, now I have to deal with hunger as well. I was fine until _it_ showed up. I cursed myself mentally as I tossed the comforters I’d been using to cocoon myself. As I sat up I had to brace myself on the palms of my hands as a strange dizziness overcame me. It didn’t last long though so shrugged it off. Now I was taking my first steps out of the bedroom, making my way down the circular staircase, a hand glazing over the golden banister in case I were to trip. I had not seen the pureblood yet, neither one of us speaking to each other since that night. I sought no reason to discuss anything with him so in a way I was glad he wasn’t present at the moment. _But who knew how long that would last for . . ._   

Somehow I found myself in the kitchen then, ghosting along the edges of the granite counter. The kitchen was light by the sunlight outside, the shine illuminating the exterior of furnishings. The house was very spacious even with the furniture but it was also suffocating confinement. The house my family had lived in was like a cardboard box compared to this but I would take that cardboard box back any day. Is there a way off of this holding cell? There probably isn’t because he would make sure I stayed in here, caged like an animal. At this point I can’t even guarantee my own sanity. My eyes then settled on the kitchen knife set near the sink. Without thinking I pick up the biggest one. _I could end its life and mine here._

_How sweet would it be if the pureblood were to find his mate and unborn young dead in the very house he caged them? It was tempting but what did the fetus do to deserve such a fate? But it’s not even an infant yet so what did it matter? It was just starting to grow . . . . I could stop it before the damage was actually done. But a life was a life. Well Kaname had took the rest of his so why not exchange it with the life of the unborn? Every action came with a consequence. Besides it would be nothing but miserable with its life. As if the pureblood would pay his spawn any heed . . . I would only be doing it a favor. Maybe in some alternate universe the two of us could somehow bear each other’s presence long enough to care for such a being but there was no room for it here. It would end up dead anyway._

_Bringing a child into this world with the conditions I was in now_

Yet as I was thinking all of thismy heart became heavy. Performing a self-abortion on my person seemed like it was the right decision with the right reasons but there was still that unsettling feeling from the simple fact that I would be ending a life. Did I have the strength or better yet the courage to take a life that has only just begun? I traced the blade of the cutting knife with a fingertip, my reflection glinting off the stainless steel. I flipped the knife in my hand, having the tip of the blade glazing just over the navel cavity. My jaw tightened and my hands themselves started to trembled. In a swift move I had pulled up the sleeve of my shirt before laying it out over the sink. I blindly ran the blade along my skin without hesitation, the warm liquid flowing out of the top layer of skin and dripping blood red into the sink. My breathing was shallow as I leaned over, the knife slipping from my fingers and falling into the sink with a loud clank. _Why did I just do that?_

While I stood there at the sink, letting my blood drizzle down my fore arm I brushed my sliver strands back, trying to calm down. _What was I thinking? Trying to fool myself and make it sound like taking a life was so easy. But it wasn’t and it was already inside, having taken the liberty of making my person a shield and home. Who was I to evict the defenseless, the helpless? I was better than that, better than **him**._

“Have you always restored to self-infliction to solve your problems?” To this I did not answer his question, made no movement to acknowledge him but my body did tense slightly at the sound of his voice. I wondered why when had decided to show up but then I suddenly heard the sound of running water and felt the cooling liquid washing over the injury. It burned at first and as we stood there he conveyed, “I would have expected better from someone who is being considered for the title of president at the Hunter Association. Would you not agree?”

 _Did he have nothing better to do then point out how useless and pathetic of an existence I was?_ I remained silent, not willing to give him the satisfaction of an answer and a little resentment tossed in for turning the god damn faucet on. I removed my arm from under the faucet and began to walk away. I could practically feel his eyes boring into the back of my head while I glanced at the already healing wound on my arm. Then something came over me, a wave of dizziness that had me stumbling over my own feet. My vision hazed dramatically, a red tint overpowered all other colors. I was trying to steady myself; my head feeling as though it could split open at any second. Abruptly I blacked out.

During my unconscious state I couldn’t register anything happening outside while the flame in my throat had increased. But just the fire grew it was suddenly put out. A succulent saccharine flavor had doused over my taste buds and cooled the burn like that of pure salvation. I wanted to grasp more of it but I held my tongue. I knew its source before I came to, my tongue darting at the corner of my mouth to savor the small drops that slipped out. I sat up to find myself lying on one of the white sofas of the living room; he was seated on the one perpendicular to me. I was just about to ask something before he read my mind.

“Giving my blood was not a charity for you,” Kaname stated without even so much as taking a glance at me. “But keep in mind that if you fail to take care of your body properly the child will act as a parasite and drain the reminder of your energy to avoid death at all costs.”

“I’m not surprised. It clearly takes after the leech that created it,” I retorted quickly, turning my head so that I was looking at the fireplace, a large painting mounted above it. It was actually a portrait of a couple, which looked fairly familiar through their features. This man stood next to a woman seated on his right, both seemed to share a trait for redwood eyes and chocolate brown hair. Their smiles were gentle but bright like a sun in a dark place. I feel like I’ve met them before, I’m sure I’ve met them before. I question aloud, “Who are they?”

“You don’t recognize them? Replace them with someone else,” he suggested.

 _Replace them,_ I thought as I examined the portrait to figure out the puzzle. Maybe it was because of the day’s events that I couldn’t see it as clearly. My head was stilling hurting from earlier; maybe I had hit the floor once I blacked out. Regardless I scrutinized the picture and if the pieces were clicking together, everything made sense and the couple changes to the only two other people I knew who could fit their place perfectly. He doesn’t bat a single eyelash as he registers the shock on my face but the nauseous hits me harder. I cover my mouth as my stomach pulls in and I gag.

“Are purebloods that revolting to you? You should show some respect to them since you had the pleasure of meeting their precious daughter, whom I was intended to betrothed at one point.”

“No . . . you’re lying,” I said, denying what I saw with my own eyes. _Yuki . . . she’s not one of them. She’s human, isn’t she? How would it be possible to conceal her true status? She even wields a hunter weapon._ This world around me seems to fall apart, white lies burning away so that nothing but the truth remained. Darkness shrouds me with welcoming arms and I feel the dim light of happiness I almost had fade. “She can’t be one of you.”

He whispers tauntingly against the shell of my ear, “Even you don’t believe your own words.”


	11. Reason

~Kaname’s POV~

He has not moved since I told him, he does not speak. I can hear his heart beating below. I begin to wonder what compels him to stay. Then I think this is too melodramatic for my taste. I try to return to my work but my mind still has a tendency to wander. My ears are bombarded suddenly with the quiet tick of a heartbeat underneath that of his. I find that I feel indifferent towards this revelation, not phased emotionally by the simple fact that the process has already begun. I do know that, without a doubt, he is fully aware of the neonate nestled inside. Yet I do not know what he thinks of it. I figured from earlier that he was trying to kill himself to avoid childbearing. He life is not worth is not worth much now and it is not yet a human, only a mere zygote. Those were most likely his thoughts. Yes, a little too melodramatic.

“Pity she is not around,” I say to myself quietly. I lay back until my head is resting against the soft velvet material of my chair. My leg bumps against the mahogany desk lightly as I cross one over the other. A light sigh escapes between my lips, the sound of thin wisps of air whipping through the thick silence that surrounds me. The hoods of my eyes lower slowly and behind closed lids my setting suddenly changes and I can see myself, in my past life before being reincarnated. _She is there as well._

_We are nestled together, our bodies naked and tangled as we lay against the silk duvet of her bed. Our only source of light comes from a candle lit on a nightstand adjacent to us. Our faces would be masked in absolute darkness were it not for the moon, its shines illumining through the windows on the far left. My head is laid upon her bosom, her soft skin only serving as a barrier as I listened to the steady beat of her heart whilst I burrowed my nose to draw in her scent. She is absently caressing my hair, I find it pleasant._

_This night is not out first but our last. At that point I did not know of her decision and yet I wonder if it would have made a difference. She’d already chosen her fate, there wasn’t much I could have done but I still wished I had done more._

_“Kaname,” She calls. It is the name of her hometown that she has bestowed on me. I then remember when she’d spoke to me for the first time I thought of our greeting to be as if I were speaking with an angel disguised as a despicable creature like I. I’d fallen for her at first sight and I’d never regretted not having her by my side even if it were for only a moment. Though it was selfish of me, I needed her like blood because she gave me purpose. “Kaname, can I inquire you on something?”_

_By her tone I can tell she’s been contemplating over this thought for some time. I reply, “What troubles you?”_

_“No, there are no troubles,” she assures me. “But there is something I wonder about.”_

_I remain silent for the time being, waiting for her to clarify on the subject at hand. I note that today she smells of pumpkin spice and I find this intriguing. A fitting scent in our final moments._

_“Have you ever wondered why we were created in such a way? What our purpose is in this world? For some reason I can’t seem to stop thinking about it. Yet every time I do, it always reminds me of her and I feel melancholy once more. Then again I feel as if I do it purposely,” she explains as she shifts slightly underneath me. I detect a skip of her heart as she says those last words and I can feel the gloomy aura suddenly pouring off her. I am sympathetic for her as I know that of which she speaks. She is thinking of her other half whom she had devoured long before she had met me._

_“It is not your fault,” I murmured softly as I press my lips against her porcelain skin trying to comfort her._

_She presses on, saying “It was not fair though. She deserved a life as well as I but while we were in the womb I cheated her. She was born so frail and ill but she managed and we were sisters but . . . We were cursed. I do not think even you Kaname could comprehend the pain of loss. It makes what little of heart we creatures have quite heavy, burdensome. How can you love such a beast?”_

_“Because I do not see you as such,” I answer, speaking such words from my heart with no hesitation._

_“Well then you are blind,” she chuckles lightly and I agree silently. She knows very well how I feel about her and nothing could ever change that. “But have you ever wondered what your life was like before, Kaname?”_

_“I see no use to fret over what has been lost and no longer exist in my own mind.”_

_She chides, “Ah, is that so? You are a misguided ghost then. Nothing can be truly forgotten, the mind holds many memories, some harder to find than others. I know she will never be forgotten.”_

_She sighs deeply before continuing, her tone growing dark. “History will repeat itself again though. My sister and I, this curse we’ve shared, our fate will probably strike another pair in the future. My wrongly actions will affect innocent. I seek repentance, atonement for my sins.”_

_I’ve hoisted myself up on my elbows, the tip of my finger trailing over the outline of her delicate lips as I silenced her. “I wish you would not speak of yourself in such ways,” I whisper softly whilst pushing back a strand of golden wheat brown hair behind her ear. A smile appears on her face and I continue my ministrations, letting my knuckles brush over her cheek bone lightly. Seeing her, I copy that smile._

_“Do not worry love,” she whispers back and I note it is the first time she has used any term of endearment with me. “Come tomorrow, my suffering will lessen greatly, I promise. Let it be so that we may spend this moment together peacefully.”_

_I do not question her words and proceed to kiss her._

“She was right though. She was a beast,” I conclude as I lift the hoods of my eyes open once more, returning to my office. From the incense burning upon my desk, I breathe in the scent of pumpkin spice, the thin fragrant smoke wisps filling my nostrils. I channel energy telepathically and watch as the solid stick spontaneously combusts, its particles floating in the air for a second before falling. I pressed my finger to my temple, massaging the area as a headache begins to throb. I chuckle a bit; the sound comes out sour and dark. “Yet now I know her pain I know how it feels to lose something precious to you.”

**~*Present time*~**

**_His health is slowly deteriorating, his heartbeat falling fainter with each passing minute. There is little I can do from the outside but I hope my words have reached him in some way so that he knows I too am suffering alongside him. Everything we have endured has led up to this moment. Was it worth it?_ **

**“Kaname-sama, may I speak with you outside?” Dr. Tozaki asks. Her tone is urgent and when I look into her deep-set light pink eyes I interpret her look as one that says ‘there isn’t much time’.  I look upon Zero with one last fleeting glance before giving him a gentle squeeze at the hand and pulling away. We are standing outside the operation room, the nurses scrambling around to help stable Zero’s health. “We removed the infant successfully but he has lost too much blood. He can no longer breathe on his own and his iron levels have depleted greatly. His body is slipping into shock and at this point . . . Something must be done or I’m afraid he won’t make it. We have tried providing him with blood to help stabilize him for the time being but so far his body has been resilient to the treatment. If you have any advice, any insight to share that would be most beneficial to him, now’s the time to speak.”**

**“I . . . I . . .” I try to form sentences but I can no longer form coherent sentences. Zero’s condition could very much lead to his death. Knowing this, my stomach churns at the thought. I can no longer think straight. I take a seat nearby and try to steady my breathing in order to corporate with the situation at hand. My hands pillow my forehead as it falls forward, my once cool façade shedding away piece by piece. I can feel my chest grow heavy and tight, something I have not felt for a while. I am a broken man. _There is no time for me to lose it but . . . This pain is . . . unbearable and difficult to deal with. What do I do?_**

**“Is blood the only thing you need for him?” My head has snapped up to find Ichiru standing beside us now. I had almost forgotten him. “We’re twin brothers. Maybe he’ll accept my blood.”**

**Upon seeing the silverette, Dr. Tozaki makes haste. “We can try.” She begins to walk out, beckoning Ichiru to follow her so that they can discuss the process and begin to work immediately. Before leaving, she speaks with a nurse on the side, taking one last fleeting glance at my person. Then she is gone and the nurse is approaching me with a small smile and bow of her head. “Kaname-sama, would you like to meet your son?”**

**My mouth turns dry now. I’m unsure of what is the right answer for me as I glance through the opaque glass across the room and see Zero surrounded by machines creating a chorus of beeps and whirls, serving as a lifeline. Yet the chaos from the outside has not seemed to even faze him. His face is relaxed and calm in slumber, a slumber that could be permanent. As painful as is to consider the outcome, one is could be ending but another life has been left in his wake and has only just begun. _A life that I am responsible for._ As I bring myself to stand up, I say to the nurse, “Take me to him.”**

**_I am tried but there is still much I can do, there’s still much I have to do._ **

**The nurse leads me away from the operation room and into the maternity ward where he has been placed under the surveillance and care of different nurses. We are heading down the hall where only the cries of newborns are heard. She brings me to a private room set aside for this particular delivery. Her hand is on the handle now and as she turns it the click of the door follows. I hesitate to enter at first but I muster enough courage to step forth. A different nurse, plumper in weight, that was already present inside greets me before exiting. Only the three of us remain in the room. The cart they’ve placed him in is only two steps away yet I cannot will myself to take them. _I should be excited but I feel timid. I didn’t think a pureblood such as I could display such emotions yet I do not detest them. I almost feel . . . more humane in a sense._**

**“I will bring him to you,” the nurse says as she walks over. She carefully cocoons the newborn in a blanket, making sure to tuck in his legs while leaving his head and hands visible. A shrill cry is let out and echoes off the walls yet I never thought I would find the sound to be soothing. As she takes him into her arms, she tries calming him down with soft clicks of her tongue while rocking him side to side. Standing in front of me, she smiles down at him before looking back at me. “Would you like to hold him? I think he would enjoy that.”**

**My arms stiffen as I hold them out to take the young into my hands. The nurse closes the gaping distance between us. She begins to transfer the infant into my arms, cautioning me to be mindful of his head. Suddenly his cries are shushed into soft whimpering mews as he settles in. _So small,_** **I think as I bring him closer to my face. From underneath the cap placed on his head I can see small patches of light bronze colored fuzz. His eyes were only half-opened but I could tell that he had adopted lilac ones like Zero’s. They gleamed in the florescent lighting of the room, opening up like blooming flowers as they gazed up at me. Our faces are mere inches apart. A miniature hand reaches a bit, jerking every so often. Cradling him in one arm, I let a finger settle in his grasp and he grips on tightly with the little strength he has.**

**I smile and it’s genuine. He fills me with unexplainable happiness but in turn I find myself wanting to protect him. It hasn’t even been five minutes but he’s captivated me in mind and body. _He is my son and he is truly a wonder to behold._**

**“Have you and your partner decided on a name?”**

**Then I’m hit with the painful reminder of reality. I was not granted the privilege of naming the first-born. There’s a lot more to lose than I thought.**

**_I just hope it’s not too late to make a difference._ **


End file.
